FEATURE: Who's Who: Westeros Edition

As of today, it is exactly 4 days until HBO's Game of Thrones returns to our screens on 1st April. If you haven't seen the first series yet, you should grab yourself a boxset, get some snacks and clear out your schedule. It's well worth the catch up.


But naturally, here be spoilers so please be aware of this if you do decide to read on.

Based on George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series, the first Game of Thrones was a success both critically and commercially, introducing people everywhere to the land of Westeros while pleasing fans who already loved the books. I started off watching the series and became so desperate to know what happened, I ordered all the available books and read them all ridiculously quickly. Staying predominantly faithful to Martin's narrative whilst adding in scenes that improved the story and brought out the best in the characters. The second series will naturally be based on A Clash of Kings and if you thought the shit hit the fan at the end of the first season, you haven't seen anything yet.

Plenty of characters, new and old, will be hitting our screens so if you have trouble telling a direwolf from a grumpkin or, more importantly, your Starks from your Lannisters, here's the Assorted Buffery guide to who is doing what (or who...) in the second Game of Thrones series.


The Starks:


Having held the role of Hand of the King in the first series, Stark patriarch Ned (Sean Bean) fell foul of several different players in the game of thrones and inevitably lost his head, thanks to evil Joffrey Baratheon. The rest of the Starks meanwhile, are scattered to all corners of Westeros.


Now the head of the most powerful family in the North, Ned's firstborn son, Robb (Richard Madden), has been declared King in the North and has moved against the Lannister faction, winning victories and capturing Jaime Lannister, the Queen's brother and one of Westeros' most infamous knights. Catelyn Stark (Michelle Fairley), Ned's wife, is with him, advising the new King on just how to hit back at the family that destroyed theirs. Robb's direwolf is the fearsome Grey Wind. Seriously... don't mess with him.


Sansa Stark (Sophie Turner), the second eldest, is trapped in King's Landing by the Lannisters, first of all because she was intended to marry Joffrey then because beating her down and treating her appallingly became his favourite thing to do. Her direwolf Lady was executed in the first series.


The three youngest Starks are predominantly out of harm's way but naturally it's not going to stay that way very long. Arya (Maisie Williams), the youngest daughter (and one of the best characters), is on her way to the Wall, disguised as Arry, a servant boy from King's Landing after escaping the city following her father's execution. Arya's direwolf, Nymeria, is still nowhere to be found, though rumours of a giant she-wolf are heard through the Riverlands. Bran (Isaac Hempstead Wright), still without the use of his legs, is the Stark holding Winterfell and taking care of the youngest son, Rickon. Their direwolves are Summer and Shaggydog.


Then there's Jon Snow (Kit Harington), Ned's bastard son, fleeing to the Wall and joining the Night's Watch after feeling isolated from his family. Aside from Arya, Jon is the most interesting Stark character in terms of what he's going through because, as several warnings in the first series suggested, the threat in the North is far worse than the civil war raging in the South. His direwolf is the runt of the litter, Ghost.


The Lannisters:


Even typing the name makes me shudder. They're just awful. Clearly the Big Bad of Westeros (well before the dragons arrive anyway), the Lannisters control the money so therefore, they pretty much control everything else. And as evil as they are, they're just too damn cool to completely dislike.


Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey) is the current Protector of the realm thanks to the death of Robert Baratheon (Mark Addy), the previous King. Yet she's proving pretty unpopular and soon finds out the hard way that mobs are not prepared to be ruled by someone they dislike.


Cersei's son, Joffrey (Jack Gleeson), devil-spawn extraordinaire and the product of her incestuous union with twin brother Jaime, is on the Iron Throne. He's really relishing the power trip, lopping off heads and beating up poor old Sansa like there's no tomorrow. You know a character is successful when even the mention of his name brings about sheer hatred and props must go to Gleeson for creating a character we all love to hate.


Jaime (Nikolai Coster-Waldau) is currently the prisoner of Robb Stark and is soon to form interesting alliances in order to get back to King's Landing and, more importantly, to Cersei. There'll be an intriguing relationship formed with an unlikely ally, Brienne of Tarth (Gwendoline Christie), a female warrior who comes close to matching him both mentally and physically.


Tyrion Lannister, known as the Imp, is quite possibly the best character that Martin has created, realised brilliantly by Emmy award-winning Peter Dinklage. Simultaneously a bad guy and someone you can't help rooting for, he spent the first series whoring and drinking his way around Westeros whilst taking in everything. Not an opponent to take lightly, Tyrion will use just about anything he can to gain the upper hand. The second series will see him return to the hornet's nest to become the Hand of the King and all-out military general when King's Landing comes under attack.


The Baratheons:


With King Robert dead, it's left to the two remaining Baratheon siblings to squabble it out between them as to who has the biggest right to the throne. Renly (Gethin Anthony), the younger brother, decides that he is far more suited to sitting in the Iron Throne than his elder brother Stannis (Stephen Dillane). Having failed to recruit Ned Stark to his cause at the end of the last series, Renly ran away to regroup and pool together his forces but is back and ready to march on Westeros.


Stannis meanwhile, is the dark, brooding member of the family and is by far the most dangerous thanks to his right hand woman, the Lady Melisandre (Carice van Houten), a Red Priestess of the great god Rh'llor. Witchlike, conniving and with the eldest Baratheon firmly under her thumb, she's the one to watch owing to her willingness to burn people alive for her god.


Another key player in the Baratheon faction is Davos Seaworth (Liam Cunningham), known as the Onion Knight thanks to his smuggling past. Fiercely loyal to Stannis, Davos is a key player throughout the second book and later on into the Song of Ice and Fire. In this, it's his prowess in battle that takes the fore though his suspicion of Lady Melisandre brings him into dangerous territory.

Across The Narrow Sea:

After the big reveal at the end of the first series, Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke) and her three shiny new dragons are moving across the lands of the East gathering forces for her eventual attack on Westeros. With the help of Jorah Mormont (Iain Glen), Dany's becoming fierce and it's looking increasingly likely that her ragtag bunch of followers will turn themselves into an impressive army, allowing her to retake the Iron Throne.

The Greyjoys:


More famous for their failed rebellion against Robert Baratheon than their designs on the Iron Throne, the Greyjoys nevertheless prove to be a threat to our central families. Led by bitter Lord Balon, the men of the Iron Islands separate themselves off from the rest of the Seven Kingdoms and haven't really got over being defeated.


Theon Greyjoy (Alfie Allen) is currently helping out Robb Stark, having been held as a hostage in Winterfell as Ned Stark's ward preventing his father from rebelling again. Theon's none too happy about becoming synonymous with the Starks however and is looking for an opportunity to prove he still belongs to the Iron Islands.


Everyone Else:


The second series will also see the return of some of the minor characters of the last series, not that they don't hold any major influence. Lord Petyr Baelish, known as Littlefinger (Aiden Gillen), is the best example of someone who seems to be on the outskirts looking in, but is in actual fact, controlling pretty much everyone around him. Responsible for Ned Stark's downfall, Littlefinger continues his manipulating and giving us another villain to curse and jeer at.


Elsewhere, there is Lord Varys, known as the Spider or the Eunuch (Conleth Hill), and, like Littlefinger, is adept at playing the situation to meet his own ends. Swearing that his allegiance is to the realm, no one is ever sure which person Varys is feeding information to. Just don't talk out loud anywhere, one of his little birds is sure to pick it up.


So there you go, the main players are all in place ready to move when Game of Thrones returns to our screens on Sunday (Eee!).

NEWS FEATURE: The King's Speech Play

I’ve yet to see the film of The King’s Speech, the 2010 award winner starring Colin Firth and Helena Bonham Carter. I’ve wanted to, and I’ve tried to get around to it, I really have but somehow, I just sort of... didn’t. Which I felt spectacularly guilty about when it did win its many awards and I was left nodding along with people in the pub pretending to agree about how well deserved it all was.

I have, however, recently become aware of the existence of The King’s Speech the play, which, interestingly, existed long before Colin Firth ever even considered reading for his part in the film. Written by David Seidler and directed by Adrian Noble, it tells the story of Bertie, or Prince Albert, who becomes King after the abdication of his brother Edward, who chooses his somewhat risqué choice of spouse, the twice divorced Wallis Simpson over the crown. The soon to be King George VI subsequently employs the help of the unconventional Australian speech therapist Lionel Logue to help him overcome a stammer he has struggled with since childhood. The two go on to become firm friends, working together on now famous radio broadcasts as history and WWII unfolds itself around them.

All of this sounds great. And indeed it sounded great when the film came out, too. But yet I still haven’t seen it.  The thing is, now I know there’s a play, and crucially, now I know it was a play first, I can’t possibly see the film before I’ve seen the original play- it just wouldn’t be right.

It’s perhaps worthy of note that we always feel better in our cultural selves when we know we’ve seen, heard or read something in its original form first. It gives us a sense of chronology, a sense of seeing the roots of an idea before we see what others took it upon themselves to do with it. The really interesting thing with The King’s Speech, however, is that everyone has seen the film, the adaptation, first.

Surely seeing the story brought to life live on a stage in front of you, and in its original form, can only ever be a more vivid and poignant experience?

I can’t wait to find out.

And then I’ll doubtless be straight over to the nearest DVD shop to buy the film version, so I can while away far too many hours endlessly weighing up every tiny difference between the two.

The King’s Speech is now on at London’s Wyndham's theatre.

 http://www.kingsspeechtheplay.com/

www.twitter.com/kingsspeechplay


- Jen

DVD REVIEW: Paranormal Activity 3

Having spent the two days prior to watching the film re-watching Paranormal Activity 2, discussing I think every possible plot line and possiDbility for the third film and generally working ourselves into an over-enthused frenzy, I think it’s fair to say my horror nerd boyfriend and I were rather excited about Paranormal Activity 3.

I also think it’s fair to say that we were not disappointed.

 Paranormal Activity 3 takes us back to the very beginning of the story. We've seen sisters Katy and Kristy terrorised by ghostly activity in the first two films, and we're now introduced to their younger selves. Through them we meet their mother Julie, her boyfriend Dennis, who, as a budding filmmaker, decides to set up cameras after an attempted sex tape reveals a paranormal occurrence, and we also meet the family matriarch in the form of the girls’ grandmother.

We watch as  Kristy begins communication with a sinister imaginary friend named Toby, whom we suspect from the outset to be the terrifiying demonic presence of the girls’ later lives.  Knowing as we do that a devilish, distinctly Faustian pact has gone on at some point in the accursed family’s history, and having met several new characters, the film takes on the lovely new level of a whodunit, as we puzzle over who the original soul seller might have been.

Never mind all that, is it actually scary? I hear you ask. And yes, I think it is. Perhaps even more so than its predecessors. Having collaborated with the team behind the hugely successful Saw films, on the gorgeously in- your- face haunted-  house horror Insidious last year, it is no surprise that the scares of Paranormal Activity 3 are far more visual than anything we have seen from the franchise before. As well as knocking you sick and terrifying you almost out of your seat at times, this play to the visual allows for a far more sadistic, and I'd even say a self referentially comic angle to the scares. There is one moment in particular which illustrates this, and all I will say here is that it is particularly ingenius...and that it involves a sheet.

The ultimate triumph of this film, however, lies in its attention to detail. There was a very real danger that 3 was going to be a montage of clips from 1 and 2, just with a few of the gaps filled in. But this is far from the case. Directors Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman have taken great care over this 1980s prequel, introducing us to a whole new set up which is as well thought out as it is engaging. Dennis’ status as a semi-professional film maker not only makes the cameras make sense in the context of the home, but, appropriately enough, gives a welcome lens of normalcy through which to view the rest of the film. Between Dennis and his fantastically gawky assistant, Randy, played to hilarious and oddly comforting effect by Dustin Ingram, we get a real sense of outsiders looking in on the action. This works brilliantly as this voyeuristic awareness is exactly the feeling we get as an audience when the unattended cameras are rolling.

This being a DVD review, the technicalities of the home cinema experience also deserve a mention here, and an honourable one at that, for this too has been intricately designed. At first, it seems as though the surround sound just isn’t working, or hasn’t been properly set up, but further watching reveals that it has actually been organised so that only the biggest, noisiest scares come through the speakers behind and surrounding your head. At one point, my boyfriend and I were so convinced that a blown bulb had actually happened in the room with us that we spent several minutes looking for it. It is worth mentioning for amusement’s sake that there weren’t actually any lights on, so I haven’t a clue what we thought we were going to find.

So there we have it. The film lives up to every expectation, has been planned to a tee and is just as unavoidably terrifying as the DVD cover boasts. In fact, my one complaint about this film, aside from how frequently I had to stop myself from leaving the room to avoid a hairy moment, is that I get the distinct impression that the franchise won’t end here, and I think it should have done. The film’s jolting, tense style of terror has worked perfectly up until now, and I’m just not convinced I can see anywhere new for Paranormal Activity 4 to go. 

And with the past having been dragged up so expertly here, I think it would be a great shame for any old material to be repeated in the future.

-         -  Jen