FEATURE: It's Eurovision!

When it comes to my musical tastes, I would not describe myself as a cheesy pop fan. In fact, I would probably describe myself as anything but (unless I'm on a night out in which case anything goes). But there is one television marathon I look forward to each year more than anything else... Eurovision.

Now to sum up my love for Eurovision would perhaps take too long but I can tell you exactly why I love it and why I think everyone should feel about it the way I do. Most of my friends treat it with indifference, others with blind hatred, but there are also those who indulge me in my little bit of annual glee and are perhaps as enthusiastic as I can be. And that's a lot.

Now while my dear father isn't exactly the most macho man in the world, you still won't catch him wearing anything glittery anytime soon. But he's nearly as big a fan of Eurovision as I am. In fact, one particular year, he actually banned me from going out with my friends because the competition was on. Now that, my friends, is dedication. If I'm not at home for the big event, you can guarantee I'll be texting the family because it's always been one of those things we've always gathered round the telly-box for. Like for the news, or Doctor Who.

Being allowed to stay up to watch Eurovision when I was a kid was a BIG TREAT, one of those rare occasions when normal bedtimes didn't apply and you were allowed to eat sweets past 8 o'clock! I remember once being sent to bed only to sneak back down and watch the television from the stairs later when the winner was announced. Of course I gave the game away the next day when I said I couldn't believe Dana had won before the TV had been switched on or the papers had arrived.

But perhaps what I love most about the whole cheesy, glittery, shiny extravaganza is the sheer unadulterated fun of it all. From crazy cone-headed Moldovans to the traditional weepy ballad that takes itself way too seriously, you have to admit that Eurovision is pretty much a laugh-riot. Whether you're sniggering at some poor soul who couldn't hit a note if it was a barn door or giggling uncontrollably at the shock of seeing an entire ensemble dressed in tin foil, every single entry has something to be mocked, laughed at or appreciated just for its sheer insanity.

There's been the suggestion recently that we take Eurovision too seriously as a nation, scrutinising each selection and getting worked up when the inevitable political voting takes place. But let's not forget, this is the same country that last year, voted for the afore-mentioned Moldovans in droves and gave Jedward the twelve points. We don't take it seriously at all.

And that's exactly the way it should be. My friends mock me for my devotion to this out-dated, politically influenced, potentially corrupted cheesefest, but I can't help but love it for that. It's naff and silly but it's also endearing and entertaining. So tonight, I'll be there ready for the moments when I shout in surprise at the television or laugh with glee at all the weird and wonderful songs that are going to be on there. And, when the voting starts, I'll be oddly patriotic, more so than at any other time, if the UK are given any points by anyone other than Ireland.

So with that, I bid you adieu and hope that, should you be watching the televisual treat that is Eurovision tonight, you enjoy it as much as I do. I'll just leave you with this, possibly the most mental yet oddly catchy song in recent memory and manages to combine just about everything I love about Eurovision. Because let's face it, where else are you going to get dancing, tin foil and an accordion all in the same place? Tanzen!

- Becky

TV REVIEW: Game of Thrones - Episodes 7 & 8

We're edging closer and closer to the end of the season now and the stakes are getting increasingly higher for our beloved characters, especially Theon who is singlehandedly proving just how stupid one person can be when given even the tiniest bit of power. What this season has specialised in is pushing the characters to their limits and seeing how far they would go to get just what they want and these two episodes are no different. Spoilers inevitably follow.

Episode 7: A Man Without Honour


While the standard is always far higher than other shows on television at the moment, this episode for me stands as an example of why Game of Thrones is just the best there is. So many great scenes to choose from this time round and it's probably my favourite so far but I shall try and keep the enthusiastic praising to an acceptable level and objectively look at the episode.

I know I often mention her in these reviews but I really can't sing Maisie Williams' praises enough. Arya is one of my favourite characters in the books and Williams has brought her to life so well that it really is as if she just stepped out of the book. The genius pairing of her and Charles Dance's Tywin Lannister has been real highlight of the second season and we got treated to their best moment yet in this episode. Always laced with dramatic irony, this scene showed us that Arya is fantastic at thinking on her feet and that Tywin has never been entirely fooled by her act though obviously doesn't know exactly which highborn girl she is. There's a begrudging respect between the two characters and it's played wonderfully.

Maybe it's because I always look at things from a feminist bent, but the female characters are really quite compelling, having just as much, if not more, at stake as their male counterparts. The most traumatic and moving scenes of the whole episode belonged to Arya's elder sister, Sansa. Right from the first episode, a certain focus has been on Sansa's moonblood, the Westerosi term for getting her period because, as soon she does, she gets to marry Joffrey. And that's never going to be a good thing. The moment when she wakes up and sees the blood and it slowly dawns on her what this means was one of the most heartwrenching scenes that any of the characters have had and the following scene in which Cersei reveals just what got her through being married to a man she hated was equally moving.

With so much going on in Westeros, the momentum has been lost a little elsewhere in the Seven Kingdoms. The conversations between Jon and Ygritte offered some nice light relief as she continued to make him uncomfortable through the simple act of flirting and it was interesting to see Jon's loyalties to the Night's Watch being questioned by an outsider. Though considerably darker in tone, we also got to see Dany's ongoing struggle in Qarth as she battles against the Thirteen to get her ships. The mystery surrounding the disappearance of her dragons is solved pretty quickly but it felt like these excursions were just an excuse to pause for breath in between everything else that was going on.

That being said, there's never really a bad moment in the series, just slightly slower ones. It's a testament to the writers that, despite having to cram in so many things per episode, we still get cracking scenes like the one with Arya and Tywin or Tyrion and Cersei. I don't know if I've mentioned it all ready but if the third season maintains the quality of its predecessors, we're in for such a treat.


Episode 8: The Prince of Winterfell

This had a job to do in order to successfully follow the previous episode but it dis succeed in one respect; if there's some kind of award for the amount of C-bombs dropped in one episode, then this one must surely be a frontrunner. I was surprised it was repeated once but five times later it was still just as shocking. Then again, it fit with the episode because not one character acted honourably in the entire run-time which, considering the last episode's title, was a little surprising.

Robb Stark and his relationship with Talisa is perhaps the best example of this; Robb's betrothed to one of the many daughters of Walder Frey after securing passage across the Trident last season but his big crush on Talisa will definitely threaten this and it's most likely going to come back to haunt him in a big way. His half-brother Jon also displayed some incredibly naivety after discovering that his actions in being able to kill Ygritte had led to the death of several of his Night's Watch brothers.

Then again, Catelyn really isn't the brightest button in the box and I continually find it difficult to sympathise with her, despite a great performance from Michelle Fairley, but she did start it all in the first place with her kidnap of Tyrion. Displaying all the tactical sense of a lemming, releasing the Kingslayer really wasn't the best plan and one which may not help her a great deal. She should learn a lesson or two from her youngest daughter. Maisie Williams was again on fine form as Arya, easily manipulating Jaqen to get what she needs in one of my favourite scenes from the entire series.

While the episode did a good job of setting up the board for next week's big battle, it did feel a lot like filler and spent most of the time catching up with everyone to make sure we all still knew who they were. With a big cast, it must be difficult to do this because momentum is lost in the process. This is certainly the case for Dany's storyline who only had one scene this week which was essentially just flagging up that her dragons were still stolen and she had to go to the House of the Undying next week to get them back. Likewise, Joffrey and Theon's respective appearances were basically just there to remind us all that one's a maniac and the other's an idiot.

The standard of the show is consistently high but I'm wondering if it would benefit from being able to view the episodes one after the other making the various threads much more easy to follow. I'm fairly sure a Game of Thrones marathon would go down extremely well with viewers. Sky, sort it out please.

Next week's episode, Blackwater, is easily the most anticipated of the entire series; directed by Neil Marshall, we'll hopefully, finally get to see one of the biggest battles in the Song of Ice and Fire. And I am more than a little excited...

- Becky

FEATURE: A Very Happy Birthday to HRH the Queen of Comedy

Here at Assorted Buffery we did a lovely piece for the Bard’s birthday back in April, and rightly so.

But today marks the birthday of another icon of ours.

She’s won five Baftas, written countless sketches, a handful of sitcoms and some cracking songs. She’s a hugely talented wordsmith, musician, actress and comedienne- much of today’s comedy scene just wouldn’t be the same without her.

Our sense of humour here at the Buffery certainly wouldn’t be.

She’s also written a musical, provided us with some un-forgettable Julie Walters moments (“Two soups”, anyone?) and has four fabulous stand-up dvds.

Naturally, we’re talking about Victoria Wood.  Master of the amusing biscuit gag, queen of the comedic piano and captain of character comedy, she’s more than earned her status as National Treasure.

But this is what we’ll always most love her for.

Happy Birthday Victoria! 

- Jen

TV REVIEW: Game of Thrones

I offer my most sincere apologies, having been so lax in my Westeros-based reviews of late (I blame real life getting in the way) but now, here's a bumper look back at the last four episodes of everyone's favourite quick-witted, drama-filled and semi-nude fantasy drama. As always, spoilers after the dramatic title banner.

Plotwise, things are beginning to speed up in the battle for the Iron Throne. Robb is gaining victories all over the place and is attempting to ally himself, through Catelyn's emissary work, with Renly Baratheon. Stannis is Westeros-bound and, thanks to Melisandre, looks set on gaining some major victories for himself. Arya and Gendry have fallen in with Lannister forces at the creepy melted castle Harrenhal while Jon is journeying even further north in search of the wildlings. Dany has found refuge finally in the walled city of Qarth, though it may cost her a lot to stay. Back in King's Landing, Tyrion is revelling in his role as the King's Hand, playing the game of thrones with an assured hand, exhanging one-liners with Bronn and generally making his sister miserable. Oh, and Joffrey is still a shit.


While the third episode, What Is Dead May Never Die, was a little too pedestrian for some tastes (including my own), it was necessary to ensure that the audience was completely aware of everyone's motives, otherwise a lot of the upcoming plot points will have made little sense. As The Clash of Kings, the novel upon which this season is loosely based, is a massive set-up for its sequels, it does make sense that the showrunners spent so much time setting all the characters and locations up. One scene that particularly deserves a mention for both its technical and performing brilliance was the one in which Tyrion decides to root out the small council mole. Deftly-handled, it was a joy to watch Peter Dinklage go toe-to-toe with the other fantastic actors, particularly Aiden Gillen and the editing between the three was just seamless. However, I was starting to worry that the pace was becoming just a bit too slow - there's only so many times you can listen to a conversation about how dangerous the whole game of thrones is getting before you actually just start yelling at the television and baying for blood yourself. Thankfully, the show is in such good hands that when the action began to ramp up, it really took off. 


Episode four, Garden of Bones, did cause a bit more of a ruckus than previous episodes, mainly because of that birthing scene, but I'll get to that in a bit. What the Garden of Bones episode did for me, was to push the boundaries both for the characters in the show and for the members of the audience and sadly, it wasn't always successful. There were great scenes, Dany's takedown of the Thirteen in Qarth was particularly memorable, reminding you just why so many people follow her and what a queen she could become. Likewise, the scenes at Harrenhal with the torture in front of Arya and Gendry was an excellent way of reminding everyone of the peril all around for the youngest female Stark. Yet there were other scenes that seemed mainly there to shock you as much as possible. 


The main one to which I am referring is the one with Joffrey and the prostitutes. It seems to have become an episode staple that, at some point, the audience must be reminded that Joffrey is evil and needs to die. As if we need that. He killed Sean Bean. The first scene in which he mentally and physically humiliates Sansa was necessary to the plot - you get to see just how well she's playing the game and, as Tyrion observes, she's one of the most capable survivors in this world. That would have been enough. But no, instead we get an overlong, disturbing scene in which Joffrey gets one prostitute to beat the crap out of the other. The whole thing was just deeply disturbing and didn't really offer much more of a development in Joffrey's psyche; we all know that he's a misogynistic power-hungry twerp. This scene was just another excuse to see Ros naked and throw things at Joffrey's face. I would have much rather have seen something that developed one of the other characters a little more, or something that furthered the plot. 

Speaking of which, the other outrage-inducing scene had to be Melisandre's maternal moment. In the book, the passage in which Melisandre gives birth to a shadow-creature that looks like Stannis remains to this day one of the most jaw-dropping moments in the entire Ice and Fire series. And I have to admit, I loved the fact that they kept it in all its deeply shocking glory. Kudos must go to Carice van Houten for her courageous performance in this scene and also to Liam Cunningham for reacting exactly as most audience members were no doubt reacting in their sofas. Twitter went a little mental, some people proclaiming the graphic nature of the scene to be the outrage, which by all accounts, is an expected reaction. 


I knew what was coming and I was still amazed that they managed to get away with showing as much as they did. But then, there was the other outcry against it, that of the overwhelming amount of magic the series had all of a sudden developed. Only, this isn't really the case is it? Although the writers did play down the magical side to this particular fantasy epic in Season One so as not to put off any prospective viewers, it was always there. We had zombies, dragons, witches and gigantic wolf creatures right through the ten episodes. Yes, it is one of the more 'realistic' fantasy series out there but it was always engrained within the narrative of show. And you'd be really disappointed if they got rid of the dragons wouldn't you?


Like Season One's episode, The Lion and the Wolf, which saw the proverbial excrement really hit the rotor blades, episode five, The Ghost of Harrenhal, saw the plot lurch forward in such an exciting way, I barely stopped for breath for the entire episode. As the title suggests, it was a little more Arya-focused this time as we saw her developing relationships between both Gendry and the mysterious Jaqen H'ghar. We also saw a scene that was practically dripping in dramatic irony as Arya served water to Tywin Lannister as he goes on about what a nuisance her elder brother Robb is being. The reactions of Maisie Williams to hearing this news were perfectly pitched and she really is one of the most consistently brilliant performers in the show. 


Back in Highgarden, we also saw the consequences of the weird shadow birth from the previous episode. Poor old Renly. No one ever took him seriously, not Ned Stark or his enemies and especially not his brothers. And he never really stood a chance, despite his startlingly practical wife. Now, Renly's been murdered by a shadow man-thing and Brienne of Tarth is to be blamed, running off with Catelyn Stark. I had my reservations about the transfer of Brienne from page to screen. She's one of my favourite characters and is described as being so aesthetically unpleasing that I thought there was no way she'd be portrayed accurately in a glossy, good-looking production. But thanks to Gwendolyn Christie and some less than flattering make-up, it's like Brienne just got up and walked on to set; Christie captures her earnestness and naivety perfectly, as well as the fact she could cut you in half without really making an effort. She's an excellent addition to the cast and I can't wait to see her development for rest of this season and into the next.


Finally in this bumper review section, it's the most recent episode, The Old Gods and the New that has raised the stakes even more than those that have gone before. More explicitly violent than previous episodes, it felt like the showrunners are now starting to crank it up in the run up to the season finale. First of all, Joffrey got hit with a cow pat. YES! Although it's not really the cathartic torture scene we're all hoping for, it's certainly nice as an audience member to see someone so evil get hit with crap. All is not well in King's Landing; the people are starving and decide that the best way of showing this is to throw stuff. Which is fair enough really. Sadly, Joffrey has a characteristic over-reaction and decides to behead everyone which results in some dismemberment and Sansa getting a little closer to the locals than is perhaps strictly legal. The near gang-rape in this scene was really hard to watch and was an expert example of tension and nail-biting fear for a character who's winning a few more people over now. Poor Sophie Turner has been bashed about this season but is selling Sansa's journey from simpering moron to natural born survivor really well.


But the biggest development in this episode though has to go to Theon Greyjoy's decision to invade the North. Oh Theon, so many daddy issues and so little time, but attacking Winterfell was the worst decision since Ned Stark decided that Littlefinger was just trying to help him out. Not only are his actions going to royally piss off most people of importance in Westeros, he also completely hamfists it in one of the most uncomfortable beheading scenes ever committed to celluloid. Like Renly Baratheon, Theon's never really taken seriously by anyone, even Bran doesn't quite believe him when he says he's taking over Winterfell and almost everyone thinks they can convince him to stop being a fool. Sadly not though as poor Rodrik Cassel found out. Alfie Allen's performance has been one of the weaker in the season so far but he's starting to settle into it, conveying the turmoil of character torn between two families and not really knowing what to do about it. 


Thankfully, we had some comic interludes to cope with all the violence. We spent longer with Jon north of the Wall as he is learning, rather unsuccessfully so far, that being a Ranger isn't all sword-swinging and posturing. Despite some early tension with a wildling fight, it's Jon's introduction to Ygritte that provides a chuckle or two as they hunker down in the snow together to cope with the cold. Though the cold isn't really what Jon's got to worry about... Another comical scene is back in the gloomy towers of Harrenhal between Arya and Jaqen when she calls in another death for his debt after being discovered sneaking information away from Tywin's table. Compared to the escalating violence elsewhere in the episode, Amory Lorch's death was both unexpectedly quick and played completely for laughs. While a dry sense of humour is always present throughout, it's often very welcome to have explicitly comical moments, breaking the tension on what was otherwise an incredibly nerve-wracking episode.


What continues to amaze about this second season is how real everything feels. One of the big marketing themes in the run-up was all the new locations in Westeros that we'd be travelling to. The landscape of the show got a whole lot bigger and thankfully, it hasn't lost anything by having to travel all over the fictional map. Whether it's the ports of the continually damp Iron Islands or the oasis of Qarth, each location feels completely authentic. This sense of authenticity develops the show so much, allowing you as an audience to get totally sucked into everything that's going on to the point of feeling your skin crawl when you're wandering the streets of King's Landing with Tyrion and Bronn. The winner of the Best New Set award (which I have just made up) though has to be Harrenhal which is just fantastic, creepy and terrifying all at the same time. It's one of the weirdest locations in the books and the set designers have captured it perfectly. The world of Game of Thrones, in its entirety, looks beautiful and it's a testament to the production team that I actually want to explore Westeros and see it for myself. Well, I'd go and wander round if I was armed, preferably with a large machine gun. You know, just in case.


-Becky

FILM REVIEW: Avengers Assemble

When the Asgardian god of mischief, Loki, returns to Earth with his very own brand of villainy, SHIELD works to unite several superheroes into one team, the Avengers, in order to put a stop to him bringing the world to its knees.

The Avengers (I'll call it this throughout the review as it sounds less like a vendetta against furniture instructions) has been a long time coming, building across five films to form a Marvel Universe the likes of which many comic book fans had only ever dreamed of seeing on screen. Though I'm relatively new to the full extent of the Marvel mythology, I've always grown up with the cartoons, the stories and the iconic characters. The Avengers was a bit of a fantasy; something that was a good idea and would be amazing to see on the big screen but that would probably never happen. It would just be too big. Then Iron Man happened. Ever since Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) showed up in the Iron Man post-credits sting talking about the Avengers Initiative, Marvel have been building towards this moment, a film that saw several superheroes, stars in their own right, come together to form Earth's Mightiest Heroes. After an expert marketing campaign that meant the (already considerable) hype had been ramped up to the maximum, The Avengers finally hit the big screen last week. And it's fantastic.


The plot centres around your friendly neighbourhood macguffin, the Tesseract, a Cosmic Cube of pure, self-generating energy that holds the key to a lot of things for a lot of people, last seen in Captain America: The First Avenger. SHIELD (i.e. Nick Fury and Clark Gregg's Agent Phil Coulson) are currently in possession of the Cube but with Loki (Tom Hiddleston) on the move, this isn't the case for very long. Soon, Bruce Banner/The Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), Tony Stark/Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), Clint Barton/Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner), Steve Rogers/Captain America (Chris Evans) and Thor (Chris Hemsworth) are brought together to try and stop Loki from destroying Earth as we know it.

First things first, director and co-writer, Joss Whedon really did have a hell of a job on his hands. Being able to juggle seven main characters, four of whom with super-powers and all with their own baggage, a villain with more angst than the average episode of Dawson's Creek and a decent plot with good action sequences then making sure that all of this makes a good film is no easy task. Thankfully, the screenplay Whedon and fellow writer Zak Penn have put together manages all of these things and more. Despite having to contend with a huge cast of major characters, every single one gets a moment in the spotlight and the cast seize each chance with both hands. Although many people are claiming that the Hulk steals the show (he is brilliant), for me, it's Tom Hiddleston's Loki who really shines in this film. As with his appearance in Thor, Hiddleston manages to create a villain that is thoroughly evil, compelling and yet still a little sympathetic. His desire to rule essentially comes from a place of low self-esteem thanks to some serious daddy issues and Thor's explanation for this is one of my highlights of the film. 


That's not to say the other actors do badly, in fact, I'd go so far as to say there wasn't really a dud performance in the film. Thanks to some classic Whedonesque one liners, the interplay between the superheroes offers each one a chance in the spotlight. Whether you want to see Thor going ten rounds with Captain America, Tony Stark verbally sparring with Bruce Banner or the Black Widow taking on the Hulk, every scene between the heroes is great to watch. Naturally with a film of this magnitude, a couple of characters are going to get a little less attention and in this case, it was Cobie Smulders' Agent Maria Hill and Renner's Hawkeye. The script does give both of them a chance to shine in their respective roles but I didn't feel like they got the same amount of development devoted to the other characters. That being said, it never felt that they were included simply to be filler, both playing an integral part in the story as the eyes and ears of the operation. Whedon is used to handling big casts of big characters with his experience on ensemble shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Firefly and the same skill is transferred here.


As always with a superhero film of this magnitude, the action scenes were going to have to be big and bold. Thankfully the action scenes are both necessary for the story and extremely well put-together. Not once did I lose track of what was happening or who was fighting who, a welcome feeling in an action film. Every scene was entirely organic to the developing narrative, never once feeling as if it was inserted just to kickstart the plot as the pacing was also well-handled. As with the interplay between all the characters, the fight scenes between the various heroes were every bit as thrilling as they should have been. The Chitauri, the alien race employed by Loki to take over the Earth, didn't exactly live up to the fearsome reputation that had been talked up earlier in the film. As they practically had 'canon fodder' stamped on their grisly foreheads, it makes enough sense that they could be dispatched without great difficulty but they could have a little more threatening. That's a very minor criticism though as these action sequences were really all about seeing the Avengers throw down. Even with the slightly dodgy foe, the final action sequence barely let you stop for breath with all the heroes pulling their weight in one of the most epic battles in recent history. It's a testament to both the writers and the cast that these action scenes actually further both plot and character development rather than merely being mindless violence for a few minutes at a time.


The Avengers always had the potential to be something revolutionary, a film that finally realised the full grandeur that the Marvel Universe had to offer but then it could also have been a complete flop. Thankfully in the hands of Joss Whedon and a truly committed cast, it's the former, a rollercoaster ride of action, comedy and spectacle from start to finish. It took all my strength to not clap and cheer loudly at several moments during the film and, for me, that's a sign of a truly great superhero film.




*****


- Becky