TV REVIEW: Game of Thrones - The Battle of the Bastards

Spoilers...

Well, we're a week away from the end of the season and this fact is killing me, but before all that there's a little matter called The Battle of the Bastards, which is one of many things this series has been building up to - the fight between Jon and the Wildlings, and Ramsay and the forces of House Bolton for the seat of Winterfell and control of the North. An incredible episode, it still played out fairly simply to how you'd have thought it would, and most of the episode was focused on the conflict.

However, it did take a little detour to show us what was happening in Mereen, as a somewhat parental Dany arrived to find the city on fire from the masters, with a rather apologetic Tyrion. It was easy for the three dragons to start nailing their ships, and after killing two of the three masters, we got down to finally bringing together the Ironborn and the Dothraki, who sliced through the Sons of the Harpy like Needle through a candle. Theon and Yara faced down Dany and Tyrion and agreed to join up, but the joy of the scene was seeing Dany and Yara flirting like crazy. We already know which side Yara's bread is buttered, so this could be an interesting development. Poor Dario Nahaaris.

Joy was the last thing happening in the North, as the armies faced each other at last. Poor Rickon immediately became another ex-Stark after being part of one of Ramsey's games, one that got Jon to fall into his trap, especially after Sansa warned Jon that Ramsay is a different kind of beast. From then on it was utterly grim, as bodies piled up and became almost ramparts to fight upon. Jon went on a mission to slaughter everyone he could see on the Bolton side, but the enemy army were able to surround them with their superior numbers and shields, and for a second it looked like curtains until Sansa and Littlefinger arrived with the knights of the Vale.

What came across in the battle is just how grim and desperate and claustrophobic this kind of combat could be, and with the sight of the Vale knights seeing Jon get trampled on by his own men. It was a terrifying sequence, with him unable to breath and see, and as he finally came out of the maw and gasped for air, it was almost like a rebirth, with the real Jon coming back to take care of business, which he did after Ramsay scarpered back to the fort. It was a pretty harrowing moment seeing Jon just beating Ramsay again and again and again, all pure anger and vengeance, but he realised at the last second that while this was his battle, someone else had a greater need for making him suffer. Sansa.

Her final scene was glorious and another example of how far she has come from the beginning, standing up to Ramsay and looking him in the eye as his hungry dogs ripped him apart. Her triumphant stride away was wonderful, especially the little smile that she gave at the end. Justice done. Speaking of justice, there was a lovely scene where Davos found Shereen's pyre, and discovered her toy stag in the ashes. It was beautifully shot with a fiery sun full of rage as his figure stood alone in the snow, and that is something that certainly has to be covered in the finale.

There is a fair bit that needs to be tied up really. Cersei's trial for one, whatever the Hound is doing, how to get thousands of Dothraki onto boats, plus where Benjen is taking Bran and Meera and how they're going to prepare for the assault of the Night King. It's been a saying since the first episode - in fact it was the title - but after six seasons of political intrigue and power struggles and relationships, it's finally at a point where we can safely say "Winter is coming."

Westeros had better be prepared.

- Charlie

You can read Charlie's review of previous episode, No One, here.

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TV REVIEW: Game of Thrones - No One

Spoilers...

One of the interesting things about Game of Thrones as a show is its ability to laugh at your story expectations like Syrio Forel laughs at death. There were certain elements that were always going to happen like we imagined, for example Arya's victory against the waif, despite the "shock ending" of her being stabbed in the gut. But several things happened this week that are either going to surprise people or/and make them a bit angry.

In terms of the latter, it's doing away with two widely rumoured events in the blink of an eye. Firstly, Lady Stoneheart - while it was always a slim chance, the show played around with her book iconography by showing the hanging men, but immediately brought back Beric Dondarrion and Thoros of Myr, both ready to head north to fight the real battle. Joining them temporarily was the Hound, who managed to get bloody vengeance on the killers of Lovejoy as well as taking our what I assume were four other BWB members. And in King's Landing, Tommen decided to dampen his mother's excitement at the possibility of having Ser Gregor win her freedom by banning trial by combat. I always thought the little king wouldn't survive the season, but it may end up being at the hand of his own mother. So no Stoneheart and no Cleganebowl. Hmph.

While Cersei no longer holds sway on her son, she certainly still casts a spell over Jaime, who spelled out his intentions to a captured Edmure Tully, namely that he just wanted to win so he could go home to her. And he did, thanks to Edmure first coming home to Riverrun and then convincing his men to surrender, despite the Blackfish's protestations that it was all a Lannister plot. Sadly, the Blackfish died off-screen, but not before sending Brienne and Pod off on a boat. Jaime's relationship with Brienne is interesting, he actually comes across something off less of a knob than he is, but unfortunately he is still nowhere near the redemption we thought he might be approaching. Maybe next season?

For once Tyrion's plans went awry, as the masters decided to take back Mereen via a whole fleet of ships, only for Dany to come and rescue them. Strangely this all very downplayed, with her landing on the roof and only a fleeting background shot of Drogon. But with her back there this hopefully sets in action her journey to Westeros with the iron fleet. Arya's arc - and fate - was a bit awkwardly resolved, but it was a nice touch to have her cut out the flame before beating the waif, before proclaiming to Jaqen triumphantly that she is "Arya Stark of Winterfell!". Given the big battle to come next week, maybe they don't want us to get fatigued.

It was a fine episode really, nice and thoughtful and a bit of a breather before next week's giant battle between Jon and Ramsay. The horror nut in me was happy to see a nice bit of gore from both Cleganes, notably the bit where The Mountain just ripped that dude's face clear off, and I imagine we're going to get a bit more with the Wildlings and the Boltons together, two groups that don't know the meaning of the word restraint. With any luck, this episode will be brought to us by the letters N and C and the number 17.

- Charlie

You can read Charlie's look at the previous episode, The Broken Man, here.

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TV REVIEW: Game of Thrones - The Broken Man

Spoilers...

Is it really episode seven? This season has absolutely flown by, and has to be one of the most consistently brilliant so far, with The Broken Man, which is another great episode. And it doesn't waste any time in reintroducing a great character from previous seasons who had been theorised to return; The Hound aka Sandor Clegane, who is found being part of a religious commune building a sept. The show had taken Sandor on an interesting journey previous, having shifted not only loyalties but morality, with a somewhat different take on things after being paired with Arya.

Here, Clegane's story is given significant heft, with the episode structured around his story, itself a sad reminder of the inevitability of war in the world of Game of Thrones, and its effects on everywhere - nobody is safe, no matter how far, remote, or peaceful they are. And for a man with a history of violence, it's almost impossible to escape. He seems content as part of the commune, if still as cynical as ever, but it's fascinating watching his conversations with the leader Ray - played by Ian McShane - who has had seemingly as dark a past as Sandor. McShane's casting is a masterstroke, bringing wonderful gravitas and depth to a tiny part (in the scheme of things) which has a crucial role in reintroducing Sandor.

The warrior's attempt to get away is shattered by the Brotherhood of Banners, who kill everyone in the commune for no discernible reason - something we're unfortunately used to seeing in Game of Thrones. Joffrey may have become the king we all loved to hate, and Ramsay is doing a similar job, but they both did cruel and inhuman things not for tactical or leadership reasons, but because they wanted to and they had the power to do so. The episode ends powerfully, with Sandor finding the bodies of the commune members strewn across the field. In his scenes he was shown to be chopping wood with an axe, almost as a redirection of power from his previous use of similar items, but the final shot has him picking up the axe from a tree stump, his motivation clear.

Speaking of Arya, she's not having a wonderful time trying to escape Braavos and the faceless men, and after booking passage on a ship she was approached by an old lady who, hugely predictably, turned out to be the waif. It was a bit uncharacteristic for Arya to let her guard down like that, but it was after a little moment where it felt like was saying goodbye to the city - and ready to become a Stark again. She was stabbed quite a few times, although while the episode left her looking bleak, you know it's not going to kill her off (it doesn't help that you see her in the preview for the next episode afterwards). The other Starks aren't getting on particularly well either: While Tormund was able to rally the wildlings to Jon's cause, House Glover had no interest, and while House Mormont pledged their allegiance, they only have sixty-two men. Nevertheless, the young leader of House Mormont was a charming girl of ten years old who happily talked smack to Jon and Sansa, with Davos eventually getting through to her, possibly thinking of Shireen.

Things in King's Landing are beginning to pick up, and we finally have a bit more of an idea of Margarey's plan after she secretly passed a drawing of the Tyrell rose to her grandmother, confirming her allegiance under the watchful eye of the faith militant. Olenna had a brilliant scene with Cersei where she just absolutely railed against her leaving her absolutely struck dumb, and hopefully she'll stick around in the show even though she's back off to Highgarden. Cersei undoubtedly has something up her sleeve, and chances are the theorised "Cleganebowl" is about to come true with Cersei choosing zombie Gregor as her champion, and The Mountain versus The Hound sounds like a fantastic way to go.

PS Yara likes the ladies. Never saw that coming.

- Charlie

You can read Charlie's look at previous episode, Blood of my Blood, here.

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TV REVIEW: Game of Thrones - Blood of my Blood

Spoilers...

Sometimes you just need to slow down, especially considering that this season so far has been a mile a minute. The world of Westeros is turning like it's had several grams of speed, so we needed to stop and reflect, and Blood of my Blood gave us that. This was an episode that had no Jon, no Sansa, no Tyrion, but looked at the other factors either in play now or soon to be.

At King's Landing, there was a surprising outcome that stopped Margaery's walk of atonement, as she appears to have not only joined up with the High Sparrow but also convinced Tommen to do the same, deciding to bring together the crown and the faith. It's a moment that stopped bloodshed, at least for the time being, although Jaime and Cersei are still being their boring old "ooh we'll destroy our enemies" selves. But there's an interesting line here that also links in with the ending, which shows the schism between those still playing the game for the Iron Throne, and those who realise that winter is coming.

Sam and Gilly (and little Sam) made it back to the Tarly home, only for father of the year elect Randyll Tarly to go off at Gilly and his hatred of all wildlings at dinner, which caused Sam to steal his sword (the wonderfully named Heartsbane) and jog off to Oldtown for maester training. I love the way the show (and book) looks at parental units and the influence of them, for good and for bad. And while Bran doesn't have his parents anymore, the closest thing he had appeared this week with the sight of uncle Benjen, coming in heroically to slay a bunch of wights. It was a great moment and I knew within a second that it was him (well sort of - he's kind of undead now), and I guess Bran's visions maybe weren't just building up to R+L=J.

Bran had a quick vision, which went all over time, but interestingly featured the Mad KIng Aerys saying "burn them all". It's hard to ignore this and his parental influence with the episode's end, which saw Drogon return to Dany and a paraphrase of Khal Drogo's speech from A Golden Crown in season one where he said he would take the throne and ride across the salt water in wooden horses. It was another triumphant Dany ending, with her ready to take her Khalasar to take the Iron Throne, but let's also remember Khal Drogo was a barbarian who was ready to have his troops rape every woman in Westeros while general pillaging and so forth. Here we have Dany ready to take deadly fire to those who would stand in her way, while Westeros is about to be hit by the white walkers. The fire versus ice thing is obvious, but who knows what Dany will do when she finds out no one really cares about the throne right now. Or will her parentage make her the "mad queen"?

And with another excellent episode, everything is set up nicely for some big action. Riverrun has been taken by the Blackfish, so Jaime (no longer part of the Kingsguard) is being sent to deal with him. Who knows what will happen when Jon and the wildlings start up, and will Jaime actually see what's going on in the North and see the actual cause that needs to be fought for?

Probably not, but stranger things have happened.

- Charlie

You can read Charlie's look at previous episode, The Door, here.

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TV REVIEW: Game of Thrones - Book of the Stranger

Spoilers...

Well, Dany doesn't call herself "The Unburnt" for fun, something the Khals of Dothraki found out this week in an episode dominated by women in power. To be fair to our white-haired dragonrider, she was given three options: stay in Vaes Dothrak as part of the Dosh Kahleen, be traded to slave masters for a bunch of horses (ten thousand, admittedly), or continually raped by the Khals, their bloodriders, and their horses. Dany went for door number four - flaming death - and burned her male captors alive in their hut, herself emerging from the fire to the rest of the Khalasar, who immediately and familiary bowed to her. I can't wait to see the face on the slavers in Mereen when she shows up with a Dothraki horde.

This episode could have been billed as a family reunion special, with many reconnections both joyous (Sansa and Jon), awkward (Yara and Theon), and pitiful (Margaery and Loras). But the truth is that all of the ladies had the upper hand in terms of strength here, with the boys putting in a pretty poor showing. It was wonderful to see Sansa turn up at Castle Black to see Jon, but there is still something very wrong with him, mainly due to him being haunted of his betrayal. It's not difficult to sympathise, there's something terribly existenstial about being obsessed with the moment that killed you. But after a threatening note from Ramsay saying he wants Sansa back or he'll pretty much do everything evil you can imagine, it was her taking charge and convincing Jon that they need to go and take Winterfell back.

Meanwhile, Margaery finally had a meeting with the High Sparrow who fed her the same junk he's fed others, and she was briefly allowed to see a broken Loras, who was ready to give in. But Margaery is a schemer, and she knows the Sparrow is up to something, as does her mother and Cersei, who along with the small council (i.e. Kevan and Jaime) are planning to make sure her walk of atonement doesn't happen, and the Sparrow and his, um, sparrowlings end up very dead. This sounds like a very stupid plan and confirms that after Tywin's passing they all together have the tactical nuance of Hot Pie.

Poor Theon returned home emasculated (literally) and was immediately and understandably torn down by Yara, who eventually went a bit easier on him when she figured out he wasn't there to get in her way of leadership. About the only men who went unscathed was Tyrion, who admittedly got a rollicking from Missandei and Grey Worm after agreeing to bring back slavery for seven years, and Littlefinger, who told brave Ser Robin that they should pledge the knights of the Vale to Sansa's fight. Considering Jon only has two thousand wildlings, this may be a much needed boost, although obviously Littlefinger is not to be trusted. There's also the question of if the Karstarks etc are actually on the side of the Direwolf or the Flayed Man.

The only thing that was really missed was Bran's vision quest, although I imagine that's been slowed down a bit considering how close they are to revealing R + L = J. But everything else is poised well; Sansa and Jon off to take on Ramsay, the Lannisters about to see if they can stop the High Sparrow, and Dany, who should really start to actually make it westward now she has the Dothraki behind her. Sorry Khal Bongo, but you just happened to be in an episode where the girls rule and the boys drool. Long may that continue.

- Charlie

You can read Charlie's review of the previous episode, Oathbreaker, here.

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TV REVIEW: Game of Thrones - Oathbreaker

Spoilers...

Well, I'm not sure what Benioff and Weiss have had with their porridge, but similarly to last week this episode shot by. Obviously the focus was on Jon Snow - who to be fair is pretty hot for one of the undead - but the wheels are definitely in motion across Westeros.

Only a short glimpse of Dany this week, with an introduction to the widows of the Great Khals, who were all seemingly promised glory alongside their Moon and Stars (although presumably none of them had dragons), while in Mereen, Varys talked business with a conspirator of the Sons of the Harpy, with a wonderfully creepy performance from Conleth Hill. Meanwhile, in King's Landing his little birds (children) were being transferred to Qyburn's books, with the small council vacating their seats as soon as Cersei, Jaime, and Ser Gregor (no Robert the Strong) came to visit. I'm a little bored of Cersei now, she's no fun and her threats seem as empty as the Lannister's coffers. And then there's poor Tommen, who went in fierce against the High Sparrow for about a minute before he was convinced everything is hunky dory because his mother loves him. Oh dear. However, Jonathan Pryce is a joy to watch in this role.

We finally had some satisfaction in Braavos, where Arya kicked that smug girl's backside and won her eyesight back, and finally got a glimpse of Samwell and Gilly on their way to homestead Hornhill, although I doubt Randall Tarly will be hugely pleased to see his son. But all of this is small fry compared to more of Max Von Sydow's guided tour of the history of the Starks, where Bran saw his father go up against Ser Arthur of Dayne at the Tower of Joy. Ned was on a rescue mission to save sister Lyanna, and while he had always told Bran that he defeated Arthur bravely, the actual truth of the matter is that Arthur was a wiz with steel who brandished two swords like a medieval Chow Yun Fat and massacred his way through the Stark party, only to be stabbed in the back by Howland Reed (father of Meera and Jojen).

What's interesting is Bran's shocked and slightly disgusted reaction to this, with how we tell stories as parents to our children and what really happens. But while Ned shot off to find Lyanna, Bran shouted out to him, and he seemed to hear him. Is this a clue to some more special powers Bran may possess? And of course the Raven stops the vision as Ned disappears, meaning we have to wait to find out about the tower (I'm pretty confident Ned will reappear with a baby in tow). Talking of Starks, we finally caught sight of Rickon but it wasn't in the happiest of places after he was unveiled to Ramsay Bolton as a gift by Smalljon "fuck oaths" Umber along with Osha. But the most horrific thing was the "proof" that he was Rickon Stark - the severed head of Shaggydog.

BUT WAS IT?!

I'm going with no. That head was way too small to be a direwolf, and I can see this being a double-cross, with the Umbers being incredibly loyal to the Starks previously. Then again, this is Game of Thrones and George RR Martin can be a right bastard. But this is likely to be setting it up for Jon who, after a bit of an understandable shock at no longer being dead, got back to his duties and hung his stabees, including Ser Alliser (yay!) and Olly (aww). However, it was pretty obvious from that act that this Jon Snow is taking no shit, and he proved that by immediately leaving the Night's Watch, leaving Dolorous Edd in charge (he's not deserting - his oath was "until my death"). If he's going to unite everyone against the White Walkers he'll have to unite the North first, and the best way to do that is to fuck up Ramsay Bolton. GAME ON.

Another fine episode, and this season is rollicking along. I'm a bit bored by Cersei and Dany at the moment, but everyone else is stepping up to the plate, and it feels like it's becoming a real worldwide conflict again. So much time was spent with the Starks and the Lannisters, but the pieces seem to be moving in a more satisfying way, and the pace is just tremendous. Let's hope it stays that way, although I know I'll be howling at the skies when the episode ten cliffhanger rolls around.

- Charlie

Read Charlie's review of the previous episode, Home, here.

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TV REVIEW: Game of Thrones - Home

Spoilers...

Well, he's back. Of course he is, there was never any doubt, even before the stills emerged of him fighting fit. Game of Thrones has thrown us some serious curveballs over the years from Ned Stark onwards, but you always had the feeling that Jon Snow was destined to pull through, no matter what. So a dozen stab wounds from his "brothers" of the Night's Watch are nothing really, especially after a special sponge bath from everyone's favourite nutty religious redhead, albeit going to a crisis of faith.

But while Melisandre had doubts, Davos was convinced she could knock up some sort of spell to bring Jon back. She shouldn't have been that worried, considering her previous run-in with resurrection specialists Thoros of Myr and Beric Dondarrion, but all it took was a simple please to the lord o'light. You'd think the men of House Bolton might want to have a chat with her after Roose, the most likeable evil bastard since Tywin Lannister, was dispatched by his own bastard Ramsay, who might as well have a dunce cap stapled to his head. He may be a vicious mad dog, but he's also a moron - at least Joffery surrounded himself with advisors, while all Ramsay really had was his dad. It's getting a bit boring now with Ramsay, and I suspect Benioff and Weiss understand that, hence showing him feeding his mother-in-law (together with her newborn son) to his hungry dogs.

With Ramsay probably not long for this world (I doubt he'll last long with the rest of the North around him), this leaves a bit of a space for the Lannisters to get back in it, provided they can get around the High Sparrow, who has gone from wanting to purify everyone to world domination in a couple of steps. What a brilliant ending that would be, to see a religious bigot on the iron throne, right as a real life one gets ready to fight for America's crown. Cersei and Jaime are both pissed that their children have been slowly ebbed away, and I don't imagine Tommen will be around for much longer either, so I can imagine the pair getting behind Ser Frank of Stein aka the Mountain 2.0 and going for it. But would they get very far without Tywin?

There's also the question of the other other Lannister, Tyrion, who took a step towards being able to confront his enemies with flaming death after making pals with the two remaining dragons. Amazingly, Dany was nowhere to be seen this episode, although if last week was any indication she's en route to Vaes Dothrak, where she'll live out the rest of her years with the other widows of Khals. Oops. And then there's Pyke and the Ironborn. Oh Pyke. Here another head fell as Balon Greyjoy was chucked off a bridge by his mad brother Euron, and at the funeral Yara was told she was no longer a dead cert to take over, and that it would be decided at the Kingsmoot. I hope it's shorter than an Entmoot. And finally, an ever-growing Bran returned alongside the human form of the three-eyed raven (Max Von Sydow yay!), with a curious vision to a youthful Ned Stark and family.

So all in all, Home actually sped through things in a surprising way, maybe now realising that we are not too far from the end - twenty-seven episodes may sound like a lot, but you can never be sure with the propensity Thrones has to take things slowwwwly to the point where you think of the Cadbury's caramel bunny. But it's all good; not only the usual points for surprise deaths and gore (although I can't remember any tits in this one) but the gears moving like they've been freshly oiled, like people are actually starting to take notice that winter is coming (it's only taken six years!).

And with that, Jon Snow. What was also interesting was that Bran's vision with the raven not only showed young Benjen and Ned but also Lyanna. The focus here is curious, considering the long-held rumour that Jon Snow is actually Lyanna's son after she was raped by Rhaegar Targaryen (what a lovely world!), so perhaps this is leading up to that. But it does feel like this is ramping up - which either means it's going to crazy or we're going to get a bunch of slightly meandering episodes until eight or nine. Also, how many bloody daughters does Walder Frey have?

- Charlie

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FILM REVIEW: Spooks: The Greater Good

Four years since the ending of the hit BBC TV series Spooks, comes The Greater Good, a feature length adventure for MI5’s section D. We follow Harry Pearce (Peter Firth), the long-serving head of department, as he incurs the wrath of the CIA, not to mention his own team, when a major terrorist Adem Qasim (Elyes Gabe) escapes on his watch.

In disgrace, and with an incomplete mission on his conscience, Harry disappears. 

Concerned, her Majesty’s bigwigs convince ex-agent Will Holloway, played in role-share between Kit Harington and Jon Snow’s hair, with the hope that his personal connection to Harry will prove an advantage (that's Will, not the hair). Naturally though, Harry being Harry, nothing is as straightforward as it seems. The two must negotiate a tangled web of morality, laws and loyalty as London is threatened by a terrorist attack, and the future of MI5 itself hangs in the balance.

The Greater Good is full of twists, turns and surprises, and largely remains true to the TV series. The franchise’s attitude to killing off its characters has always been gung-ho at best, and this is true here. There are also some fantastic set pieces and shots of London to feast your eyes on. Rightly or wrongly, Spooks was always about defending our capital from malign outside forces, and again, that’s exactly what we get in this feature length outing.

Kit Harington is very good as the tortured moral compass of the film, although his character could have been pushed much further. In fact there was very little in the way of character exploration full stop, unless that character was Harry. The TV series made him its focus in later years, and rightly so, but here it felt at the expense of everyone else on screen. All the other agents, looked and felt a little flat. I also feel like the writers probably owe Lara Pulver an apology, but that’s by the by.

On a wider lebel, it was also a little lacking in terms of what terrorist Adem Qasim really wanted, other than revenge. Like it or not, we’re much more aware of the people, and the human stories, behind extremism than we were when Spooks was last on our screens, and we needed more than a cardboard cut-out terror leader to reflect that.

The plot was decent enough, although nothing that you couldn’t really have worked out for yourself. We’re so used to seeing Harry going against the orders of his superiors, that this didn’t really feel like anything new. As a result it was a little too linear, with too much character over content, if anything. Which I’m not normally one to complain about. In fact, dare I say it, it all felt a little too Hollywood.

On the plus side, there are a few things in there that will make long-time fans very, very happy. I squeaked with joy at the re-appearance of one character in particular. There was also some convincing exploration of the psychology, and ultimately the loneliness of working for the security services. Harry’s reference to the shortness of the list of ex-spies he trusts, when you exclude ‘the mad and the drunk and the dead’, was particularly telling.

If The Greater Good suffers from anything, it’s simply not quite having the heart of the TV series, the ending of which was so perfect, that, creatively at least, you can’t help but feel like they were wrong to tamper with it at all.

It’s an enjoyable film and worth seeing, especially as an existing fan, but ultimately it’s just not quite as good as an episode of the show it was based on. Not enough to make you angry, or complain that you wasted your hard earned money on a ticket, but enough to make you a little bit sad. Sad that these characters have been trotted out again for our amusement for seemingly little more than commercial gain. 

But mostly sad that we can’t see this slick, subtle and clever TV show on our small screens anymore.

- Jen

***

@jenniferklarge

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FEATURE: Spying According To Spooks

For ten series, Spooks (or MI5 in the States) has brought us some of the most amazing drama the BBC has had to offer. From the sublime to ridiculous, we saw spies being all heroic, spies going rogue and the officers of the fictional Section D get dispatched in increasingly interesting ways (although they did have to work hard to top Series One's chip fat fryer...). 

With the new movie, Spooks: The Greater Good looming on the horizon, we decided to take a look at how luminaries such as Harry Pearce or Tom Quinn stop as many secret terrorist organisations, Americans and generally anyone else who threatened our national security as well as they did over those ten years. So we at Assorted Buffery have decided to bring you our comprehensive(ish) guide to How to Spy according to the characters of Spooks.

Please be warned; major spoilers for the Spooks TV series ahead.

Sir Harry Pearce (Peter Firth)

How to Spy: Drink whisky, and lots of it. If you've had a particularly bad day, simply drink more whisky and listen to some stirring classical music, just to add to the pensive mood. As capable of falling in love with colleague Ruth as you are ordering the assassination of a confirmed terrorist, you keep Section D running and let's face it, you're just impossible to kill.

Defining moment: Poisoning the Home Secretary to avenge the (actual) death of Ros Myers 

Secret weapon: Whisky. And the best phone voice ever. 

Current Status: Indestructible. Like Captain Scarlet.

Tom Quinn (Matthew Macfadyen)

How to Spy: Always turn on your morals at the least appropriate moment, then run into the sea in a blind panic and turn up on a street corner somewhere a week later disguised as a tramp.

Defining moment: Returning to kill off a loose end at the very last moment of the series, stealing the finale with his dashing good looks. 

Secret Weapon: A voice that could melt chocolate.

Current Status: God knows...

Danny Hunter (David Oyelowo)

How to Spy: Look cool. Then look a bit confused. Flirt with Sam. Look longingly after Zoe. Look a bit cool again and then die a heroic death.  

Defining moment: "Fuck you, you death-worshiping fascist!"

Secret Weapon: Winnie the Pooh (no, seriously)

Current Status: Triumphantly dead.

Zoe Reynolds (Keeley Hawes)

How to Spy: Secret identities never really worry you. I mean, who wouldn't want to tell a fit Welsh photographer your real name, whilst working an undercover mission on which people's lives depend? Besides, you can always escape "off-the-books" to South America should you completely balls it all up.

Defining Moment: Proving kicking ass and taking names wasn't just a boys' playing field.

Secret weapon: "The tight blue sweatshirt"

Current Status: Somewhere on the Inca Trail.

Ruth Evershed (Nicola Walker)

How to Spy: Panic. Then look longingly at Harry. Refer to GCHQ for no real reason other than exposition. Tell Harry what to do whilst looking longingly at him. Then look worried. Save the day with your wicked research skills.

Defining Moment: Saving Section D's arse so many times that she should be a national treasure. 

Secret weapon: Painstaking attention to detail.

Current Status: *Sob* We're still grieving this one.

Malcolm Wynn-Jones (Hugh Simon)

How to Spy: Without you, the MI5 technical department looked like a member of a boyband (Exposition-Tariq, I'm looking at you). Whether coming up with a convenient technical device to save the day or just hammering away at a keyboard looking like an expert movie hacker, Section D crumbles without you. So much so, they bring you out of retirement.

Defining Moment: Losing it at the death *sob* of Colin, his tech-wizard partner in crime.

Secret Weapon: Mad typing skills and the kind of computer graphics only seen on TV.

Current Status: Being awesome. 

Ros Myers (Hermione Norris)

How to Spy: You are always right. A universe in which you are ever not right simply does not exist. Be tough, kick arse, get your own way and if all else fails simply fake your own death. 

Defining Moment: Oh you know, casually coming back from the dead.

Secret Weapon: Withering sarcasm.

Current Status: Dead. Again.

Adam Carter (Rupert Penry-Jones)

How to Spy: Remember, your wardrobe is your most important asset. That, and a damn good designer stubble chin. Always charm, smile and persuade your way out of trouble. When in doubt, forget your designer labels and get naked.

Defining Moment: Cementing his position in the team by making it to a secret meeting using only a series of costume changes and sandwich board messages.

Secret Weapon: That piercing stare.

Current Status: Exploded.

Zafar Younis (Raza Jaffrey)

How to Spy: You are so damn badass you bring a baseball bat to a gunfight. Literally. So badass that getting rid of you in a suitably outrageous way was just impossible because you beat a guy into submission with a baseball bat. One convenient kidnapping plot later and you fade away into Section D memorial obscurity. But it's OK. Because you are awesome. 

Defining Moment: Dealing with a racist who'd already locked him in a cupboard and accused our Zaf of attempting to down an airplane.

Secret Weapon: A freaking baseball bat.

Current Status: We refuse to believe those photos.

Lucas North (Richard Armitage)

How to Spy: Being a spy is far easier than it looks. In fact it's often best not to use your brain at all. Rely on your superiors whenever you can, run into the odd moving vehicle and not to worry if you lose your target along the way. Oh and your name is JOHN by the way, that's JOHN. 

Defining Moment: Attempting to kill everyone in Section D. Including Harry. Seriously, who does that?

Secret Weapon: Going batshit crazy at inappropriate moments.

Current Status: Very dead. Which to be honest, is probably for the best.

Sarah Caulfield (Genevieve O'Reilly)

How to Spy: Perfect accents are a sign of a spy with too much time on her hands. Just go in there wavering Bostonian vowels a blazing and shag the nearest dimwit who's a few handguns short of an arsenal. Let's face it, we all knew she was a bad egg even before she somehow managed to throw a man twice her size down a fancy stair well. 

Defining Moment: Travelling from Boston to New York via Georgia in the space of about 30 seconds. Her vocal coach needs sacking.

Secret Weapon: Hulk-like strength without the unflattering green complexion. 

Current Status: Assassinated (Cor, they don't last very long do they?)

Dimitri Levendis (Max Brown)

How to Spy: It's a tough life being a sidekick, especially one who has all the character development of a wooden spoon. So give it your best frown, remind everyone you haven't yet turned into a cardboard cutout and only show emotion when defusing a bomb... again.

Defining Moment: We only actually remember him defusing a bomb and possibly shagging a target.

Secret Weapon: A well-practiced frown.

Current Status: Desperately seeking a personality.

Erin Watts (Lara Pulver)

How to Spy: Eyeliner. Heels and eyeliner. That's the secret. Oh and a damn good blow dry. 

Defining moment: Who are you again?

Secret Weapon: Erm, unhelpful killer heels?

Current Status: Getting her hair done and then sashaying into Spooks: The Greater Good.


Disclaimer: We hold no responsibility for anyone who actually attempts to spy according to the above techniques. Leave it to the sharp-suited professionals and catch Spooks: The Greater Good in cinemas on May 13th, with Kit Harington and the indomitable Peter Firth returning as Harry Pearce.

- Jen and Becky

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