FEATURE: Spying According To Spooks

For ten series, Spooks (or MI5 in the States) has brought us some of the most amazing drama the BBC has had to offer. From the sublime to ridiculous, we saw spies being all heroic, spies going rogue and the officers of the fictional Section D get dispatched in increasingly interesting ways (although they did have to work hard to top Series One's chip fat fryer...). 

With the new movie, Spooks: The Greater Good looming on the horizon, we decided to take a look at how luminaries such as Harry Pearce or Tom Quinn stop as many secret terrorist organisations, Americans and generally anyone else who threatened our national security as well as they did over those ten years. So we at Assorted Buffery have decided to bring you our comprehensive(ish) guide to How to Spy according to the characters of Spooks.

Please be warned; major spoilers for the Spooks TV series ahead.

Sir Harry Pearce (Peter Firth)

How to Spy: Drink whisky, and lots of it. If you've had a particularly bad day, simply drink more whisky and listen to some stirring classical music, just to add to the pensive mood. As capable of falling in love with colleague Ruth as you are ordering the assassination of a confirmed terrorist, you keep Section D running and let's face it, you're just impossible to kill.

Defining moment: Poisoning the Home Secretary to avenge the (actual) death of Ros Myers 

Secret weapon: Whisky. And the best phone voice ever. 

Current Status: Indestructible. Like Captain Scarlet.

Tom Quinn (Matthew Macfadyen)

How to Spy: Always turn on your morals at the least appropriate moment, then run into the sea in a blind panic and turn up on a street corner somewhere a week later disguised as a tramp.

Defining moment: Returning to kill off a loose end at the very last moment of the series, stealing the finale with his dashing good looks. 

Secret Weapon: A voice that could melt chocolate.

Current Status: God knows...

Danny Hunter (David Oyelowo)

How to Spy: Look cool. Then look a bit confused. Flirt with Sam. Look longingly after Zoe. Look a bit cool again and then die a heroic death.  

Defining moment: "Fuck you, you death-worshiping fascist!"

Secret Weapon: Winnie the Pooh (no, seriously)

Current Status: Triumphantly dead.

Zoe Reynolds (Keeley Hawes)

How to Spy: Secret identities never really worry you. I mean, who wouldn't want to tell a fit Welsh photographer your real name, whilst working an undercover mission on which people's lives depend? Besides, you can always escape "off-the-books" to South America should you completely balls it all up.

Defining Moment: Proving kicking ass and taking names wasn't just a boys' playing field.

Secret weapon: "The tight blue sweatshirt"

Current Status: Somewhere on the Inca Trail.

Ruth Evershed (Nicola Walker)

How to Spy: Panic. Then look longingly at Harry. Refer to GCHQ for no real reason other than exposition. Tell Harry what to do whilst looking longingly at him. Then look worried. Save the day with your wicked research skills.

Defining Moment: Saving Section D's arse so many times that she should be a national treasure. 

Secret weapon: Painstaking attention to detail.

Current Status: *Sob* We're still grieving this one.

Malcolm Wynn-Jones (Hugh Simon)

How to Spy: Without you, the MI5 technical department looked like a member of a boyband (Exposition-Tariq, I'm looking at you). Whether coming up with a convenient technical device to save the day or just hammering away at a keyboard looking like an expert movie hacker, Section D crumbles without you. So much so, they bring you out of retirement.

Defining Moment: Losing it at the death *sob* of Colin, his tech-wizard partner in crime.

Secret Weapon: Mad typing skills and the kind of computer graphics only seen on TV.

Current Status: Being awesome. 

Ros Myers (Hermione Norris)

How to Spy: You are always right. A universe in which you are ever not right simply does not exist. Be tough, kick arse, get your own way and if all else fails simply fake your own death. 

Defining Moment: Oh you know, casually coming back from the dead.

Secret Weapon: Withering sarcasm.

Current Status: Dead. Again.

Adam Carter (Rupert Penry-Jones)

How to Spy: Remember, your wardrobe is your most important asset. That, and a damn good designer stubble chin. Always charm, smile and persuade your way out of trouble. When in doubt, forget your designer labels and get naked.

Defining Moment: Cementing his position in the team by making it to a secret meeting using only a series of costume changes and sandwich board messages.

Secret Weapon: That piercing stare.

Current Status: Exploded.

Zafar Younis (Raza Jaffrey)

How to Spy: You are so damn badass you bring a baseball bat to a gunfight. Literally. So badass that getting rid of you in a suitably outrageous way was just impossible because you beat a guy into submission with a baseball bat. One convenient kidnapping plot later and you fade away into Section D memorial obscurity. But it's OK. Because you are awesome. 

Defining Moment: Dealing with a racist who'd already locked him in a cupboard and accused our Zaf of attempting to down an airplane.

Secret Weapon: A freaking baseball bat.

Current Status: We refuse to believe those photos.

Lucas North (Richard Armitage)

How to Spy: Being a spy is far easier than it looks. In fact it's often best not to use your brain at all. Rely on your superiors whenever you can, run into the odd moving vehicle and not to worry if you lose your target along the way. Oh and your name is JOHN by the way, that's JOHN. 

Defining Moment: Attempting to kill everyone in Section D. Including Harry. Seriously, who does that?

Secret Weapon: Going batshit crazy at inappropriate moments.

Current Status: Very dead. Which to be honest, is probably for the best.

Sarah Caulfield (Genevieve O'Reilly)

How to Spy: Perfect accents are a sign of a spy with too much time on her hands. Just go in there wavering Bostonian vowels a blazing and shag the nearest dimwit who's a few handguns short of an arsenal. Let's face it, we all knew she was a bad egg even before she somehow managed to throw a man twice her size down a fancy stair well. 

Defining Moment: Travelling from Boston to New York via Georgia in the space of about 30 seconds. Her vocal coach needs sacking.

Secret Weapon: Hulk-like strength without the unflattering green complexion. 

Current Status: Assassinated (Cor, they don't last very long do they?)

Dimitri Levendis (Max Brown)

How to Spy: It's a tough life being a sidekick, especially one who has all the character development of a wooden spoon. So give it your best frown, remind everyone you haven't yet turned into a cardboard cutout and only show emotion when defusing a bomb... again.

Defining Moment: We only actually remember him defusing a bomb and possibly shagging a target.

Secret Weapon: A well-practiced frown.

Current Status: Desperately seeking a personality.

Erin Watts (Lara Pulver)

How to Spy: Eyeliner. Heels and eyeliner. That's the secret. Oh and a damn good blow dry. 

Defining moment: Who are you again?

Secret Weapon: Erm, unhelpful killer heels?

Current Status: Getting her hair done and then sashaying into Spooks: The Greater Good.


Disclaimer: We hold no responsibility for anyone who actually attempts to spy according to the above techniques. Leave it to the sharp-suited professionals and catch Spooks: The Greater Good in cinemas on May 13th, with Kit Harington and the indomitable Peter Firth returning as Harry Pearce.

- Jen and Becky

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FILM REVIEW: The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

As year draws to its close, we’re due to embark on yet another journey to J.R.R. Tolkien’s Middle Earth. All of that thanks to director Peter Jackson and The Battle of the Five Armies, the third chapter of his The Hobbit trilogy. In what is supposed to be a final film ever set in his fictional land (unlikely!) our Dwarven, Elven and Human characters are entangled in a massive conflict over the control of Erebor and hearth stored under the Lonely Mountain. Friendships are being tested, blood being shed, lessons learned. Virtually everything one can expect from grand finale like this.

It is, of course, naïve and unrealistic to expect that this film will rectify and reverse everything wrong about two previous chapters. Indeed, The Battle of the Five Armies suffers from many of the sins these films were plagued by – choppy narrative, bloated running time, an unnecessarily excessive use of computer graphics, uneven pacing. However, what where it does exceed is in its increased focus on single narrative, probably for the very first time in The Hobbit trilogy. It feels less scattered around, largely due to it being set mostly in one location. The board for ensuing conflict was set already by The Desolation of Smaug and there is no exposition as such. And that is something quite new for Peter Jackson’s Tolkien adaptations.

Another strong point is an emphasis on character development and interactions, an ingredient criminally absent from both An Unexpected Journey and The Desolation of Smaug, save for a few cursory elements. In The Battle of the Five Armies, the execution of those elements might still be somewhat clunky but at least it’s there. Both Richard Armitage and Martin Freeman rise to the occasion and provide their characters with some emotion. Bilbo, curiously underused in a series of films revolved around his character, finally gets to fulfil a role in those and adding some necessary good-natured hobbit warmth into the grim plotline. At the same time, Armitage gets to expand upon both gloomy and warm aspects of Thorin Oakenshield as he’s battling his inherited greedy sickness. The usual suspects Ian McKellen is always a joy to watch on screen and his Gandalf definitely doesn’t disappoint, as expected.

What doesn’t work quite so well, however, is the battle spectacle itself. While all Tolkien-based films used CGI heavily to help enhance epic struggles portrayed on screen, there is a sense that The Battle of the Five Armies was filmed almost entirely in front of green screen. Gone are the breathtaking and lovely landscapes of New Zealand. It’s hard to care for an hour of swarming animated characters fighting other animated characters, with occasional shots of live actors swing a sword once or twice. There’s hardly any drama or tension in that and Middle-earth feels smaller than ever.

What’s even more frustrating, it turns out that many plot points and characters from previous two films were introduced for absolutely no reason. Sylvester McCoy, so prominently featured as Radagast in An Unexpected Journey, barely makes a cameo in both subsequent films. Same with Mikael Persbrandt’s Beorn. One has to wonder why Peter Jackson even bothered including those two, given their contribution to the overall story is quite minimal and could have been achieved in more efficient ways. On the other hand, the completely new Elven character of Tauriel, as played by Evangeline Lilly, could have used an expansion. Fortunately, Luke Evans’ Aragorn-inspired Bard the Bowman and Lee Pace’s Thranduil get a lot more screen time this time and this film is so much better for it.

Technically, The Battle of the Five Armies is adequate but strangely unpolished in some areas. Many of the effects seem unfinished and unconvincing, especially the opening fiery destruction of Lake-town and climactic confrontation between Thorin and pale orc Azog. The musical score by Howard Shore, such a crucial ingredient of The Lord of the Rings, is an accomplished and intelligent as ever but feels lost and neglected in overcrowded sound mix. Editorially, this film feels a bit awkward and uneven, as did the previous two. It will be interesting to see if the extended cut, due late next year, will change that.

The final chapter in Peter Jackson’s six-film series is ultimately successful in its basic entertainment factor but it falls short as a piece of epic fantasy cinema. The ultimate failure of The Hobbit trilogy is not as painful as the one suffered by Star Wars fans a decade ago but there’s an undeniable sense that something went terribly wrong in the development process. Still, strong performances from excellent cast and significantly tighter and focused narrative make up for many shortcomings.

- Karol

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FILM REVIEW: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit who finds himself swept into an adventure with thirteen dwarves and a wizard, all seeking the lost land of Erebor, taken from them by a fearsome dragon.

Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) finds himself with a wizard (Sir Ian McKellen) and thirteen dwarves on his doorstep, led by the impressive Thorin Oakenshield (Richard Armitage). Seeking to reclaim the lost land of Erebor in the Lonely Mountain from the dragon Smaug (Benedict Cumberbatch), the dwarves enlist Bilbo as a burglar and embark on a quest across Middle Earth that takes in trolls, goblins, a visit to Rivendell and an encounter with Radagast the Brown (Sylvester McCoy) that hints that something evil may be rising in Middle Earth. Bilbo has his own personal encounters too, engaging in a riddle competition with Gollum (Andy Serkis) and finding a small gold ring that carries a mysterious power.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey appears nine years after we last saw Middle Earth on the big screen and has brought along its fair share of baggage. A film that very nearly didn't happen for various reasons, when Peter Jackson announced that The Hobbit was to be screened at 48 frames per second instead of industry standard 24 and then that it was to be three films as opposed to the afore-confirmed two, it's created quite the storm. I didn't see the film in 48fps, just in 3D, so I can't comment as to the effect that the increased frame rate has on the film. I will say though, that the 3D utilised here was the best I've seen, working to enhance the world of Middle Earth rather than detract from it. In fact, it almost made me think that 3D was a good idea. Almost. 

Then there's the issue of The Hobbit becoming a trilogy, despite being only one, quite small book. First of all, let's get the problems out of the way because unfortunately, there are a couple. Nothing major I grant you, but it was inevitable that with the extension into three films, there were going to be some pacing issues. The middle act slows down a little, keen to connect the current Middle Earth events to those of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. The meeting of the White Council, in which Gandalf, Galadriel and Elrond meet with Saruman to discuss a potential rising evil, works well to establish plots of the later trilogy but unfortunately slows its own film down to a snail's pace.

The addition of other material doesn't necessarily always have the same effect. I really enjoyed the inclusion of dwarven history as helped to build a more complete picture of the dwarves' quest, adding an extra dimension to what could just seem like a fun jaunt to Erebor. Then there's the effect it has on the characters in the film, increasing their roles beyond the very brief sketches we get in the novel. It also enhances the relationship between Bilbo and Thorin Oakenshield, rather beautifully summed up in Bilbo's reasonings for remaining to help the dwarves on their quest. 

Now moving swiftly on to the positives, of which there are many. The Dol Guldur sequence with Radagast was a particular favourite of mine, packed full of visual and aural connections to the big brother trilogy and is a perfect example of one of the film's major highlights, the sound and Howard Shore's score. The new material is fantastic stuff, particularly the dwarves' theme which has been in my head ever since that first trailer was released last year and the choral fire-and-brimstone number during the goblin chase really aids the action. Then there's the nods to the LOTR soundtrack; the Shire theme gets a nice twist while the Dol Guldur sequence utilises memory to great effect to really up the chilling atmosphere. Some people may criticise the recycling of the music as unimaginative but it was one of my favourite aspects of The Hobbit and was probably the most effective method, for me, of linking the two trilogies completely.

An Unexpected Journey, despite its darker moments, operates a whole shade lighter than LOTR, embracing the comedic and the ridiculous moments in its source novel. The dwarves are a riot from the moment they appear, handling the comedy (and the inevitable singing) with aplomb though a couple of lines do grate a little. The thirteen actors have an easy chemistry though some do get more the spotlight than others. Gaining a nice Legolas-style transformation is Aidan Turner's Kili, given far more to do as one of the youngest and most adventurous dwarves, turning in a nice performance that balances both naivety and bravado. James Nesbitt's Bofur and Ken Stott's Balin both handle the kindly wise men roles well while Richard Armitage gives good Aragorn as the displaced leader of the troupe, destined to lead his people home.

Despite the strong support, there are still three performances in The Hobbit that stand out from the rest of the cast. Andy Serkis gets back in to the motion capture suit that made his name and brings back everyone's favourite jewellery-addict. It's a virtuoso performance that flits back between the two personalities of Smeagol and Gollum with ease, treading the fine line between the inherent tragedy and comedy of the character. Sir Ian McKellan's Gandalf is another highlight; a complete badass in the goblin scenes and the only one in Middle Earth who actually thinks something bad is about to go down. His flicker of recognition when Bilbo pockets the Ring is subtle, yet mightily effective.

Then there's Martin Freeman, the strong centre of the film who gives a career-best as Bilbo Baggins, presenting a multi-layered hobbit who has yet to achieve his true potential. Freeman naturally excels in the comedy scenes, even if he does play the first few scenes as a pointy-eared Arthur Dent (though the two characters have a fair amount in common) but it is in the later stages of the film, as Bilbo discovers his capacity for bravery and adventure that Freeman really excels. 

Whilst I still remain sceptical as to whether The Hobbit Trilogy will actually work as such, I was delighted by this first return to Middle Earth with its great sense of fun and some stunning set pieces. I'm already planning a return visit and may have to venture out to find a 48fps screening, just to see what all the fuss is about.

****

- Becky

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