FEATURE: Who's Who: Westeros Edition

As of today, it is exactly 4 days until HBO's Game of Thrones returns to our screens on 1st April. If you haven't seen the first series yet, you should grab yourself a boxset, get some snacks and clear out your schedule. It's well worth the catch up.


But naturally, here be spoilers so please be aware of this if you do decide to read on.

Based on George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series, the first Game of Thrones was a success both critically and commercially, introducing people everywhere to the land of Westeros while pleasing fans who already loved the books. I started off watching the series and became so desperate to know what happened, I ordered all the available books and read them all ridiculously quickly. Staying predominantly faithful to Martin's narrative whilst adding in scenes that improved the story and brought out the best in the characters. The second series will naturally be based on A Clash of Kings and if you thought the shit hit the fan at the end of the first season, you haven't seen anything yet.

Plenty of characters, new and old, will be hitting our screens so if you have trouble telling a direwolf from a grumpkin or, more importantly, your Starks from your Lannisters, here's the Assorted Buffery guide to who is doing what (or who...) in the second Game of Thrones series.


The Starks:


Having held the role of Hand of the King in the first series, Stark patriarch Ned (Sean Bean) fell foul of several different players in the game of thrones and inevitably lost his head, thanks to evil Joffrey Baratheon. The rest of the Starks meanwhile, are scattered to all corners of Westeros.


Now the head of the most powerful family in the North, Ned's firstborn son, Robb (Richard Madden), has been declared King in the North and has moved against the Lannister faction, winning victories and capturing Jaime Lannister, the Queen's brother and one of Westeros' most infamous knights. Catelyn Stark (Michelle Fairley), Ned's wife, is with him, advising the new King on just how to hit back at the family that destroyed theirs. Robb's direwolf is the fearsome Grey Wind. Seriously... don't mess with him.


Sansa Stark (Sophie Turner), the second eldest, is trapped in King's Landing by the Lannisters, first of all because she was intended to marry Joffrey then because beating her down and treating her appallingly became his favourite thing to do. Her direwolf Lady was executed in the first series.


The three youngest Starks are predominantly out of harm's way but naturally it's not going to stay that way very long. Arya (Maisie Williams), the youngest daughter (and one of the best characters), is on her way to the Wall, disguised as Arry, a servant boy from King's Landing after escaping the city following her father's execution. Arya's direwolf, Nymeria, is still nowhere to be found, though rumours of a giant she-wolf are heard through the Riverlands. Bran (Isaac Hempstead Wright), still without the use of his legs, is the Stark holding Winterfell and taking care of the youngest son, Rickon. Their direwolves are Summer and Shaggydog.


Then there's Jon Snow (Kit Harington), Ned's bastard son, fleeing to the Wall and joining the Night's Watch after feeling isolated from his family. Aside from Arya, Jon is the most interesting Stark character in terms of what he's going through because, as several warnings in the first series suggested, the threat in the North is far worse than the civil war raging in the South. His direwolf is the runt of the litter, Ghost.


The Lannisters:


Even typing the name makes me shudder. They're just awful. Clearly the Big Bad of Westeros (well before the dragons arrive anyway), the Lannisters control the money so therefore, they pretty much control everything else. And as evil as they are, they're just too damn cool to completely dislike.


Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey) is the current Protector of the realm thanks to the death of Robert Baratheon (Mark Addy), the previous King. Yet she's proving pretty unpopular and soon finds out the hard way that mobs are not prepared to be ruled by someone they dislike.


Cersei's son, Joffrey (Jack Gleeson), devil-spawn extraordinaire and the product of her incestuous union with twin brother Jaime, is on the Iron Throne. He's really relishing the power trip, lopping off heads and beating up poor old Sansa like there's no tomorrow. You know a character is successful when even the mention of his name brings about sheer hatred and props must go to Gleeson for creating a character we all love to hate.


Jaime (Nikolai Coster-Waldau) is currently the prisoner of Robb Stark and is soon to form interesting alliances in order to get back to King's Landing and, more importantly, to Cersei. There'll be an intriguing relationship formed with an unlikely ally, Brienne of Tarth (Gwendoline Christie), a female warrior who comes close to matching him both mentally and physically.


Tyrion Lannister, known as the Imp, is quite possibly the best character that Martin has created, realised brilliantly by Emmy award-winning Peter Dinklage. Simultaneously a bad guy and someone you can't help rooting for, he spent the first series whoring and drinking his way around Westeros whilst taking in everything. Not an opponent to take lightly, Tyrion will use just about anything he can to gain the upper hand. The second series will see him return to the hornet's nest to become the Hand of the King and all-out military general when King's Landing comes under attack.


The Baratheons:


With King Robert dead, it's left to the two remaining Baratheon siblings to squabble it out between them as to who has the biggest right to the throne. Renly (Gethin Anthony), the younger brother, decides that he is far more suited to sitting in the Iron Throne than his elder brother Stannis (Stephen Dillane). Having failed to recruit Ned Stark to his cause at the end of the last series, Renly ran away to regroup and pool together his forces but is back and ready to march on Westeros.


Stannis meanwhile, is the dark, brooding member of the family and is by far the most dangerous thanks to his right hand woman, the Lady Melisandre (Carice van Houten), a Red Priestess of the great god Rh'llor. Witchlike, conniving and with the eldest Baratheon firmly under her thumb, she's the one to watch owing to her willingness to burn people alive for her god.


Another key player in the Baratheon faction is Davos Seaworth (Liam Cunningham), known as the Onion Knight thanks to his smuggling past. Fiercely loyal to Stannis, Davos is a key player throughout the second book and later on into the Song of Ice and Fire. In this, it's his prowess in battle that takes the fore though his suspicion of Lady Melisandre brings him into dangerous territory.

Across The Narrow Sea:

After the big reveal at the end of the first series, Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke) and her three shiny new dragons are moving across the lands of the East gathering forces for her eventual attack on Westeros. With the help of Jorah Mormont (Iain Glen), Dany's becoming fierce and it's looking increasingly likely that her ragtag bunch of followers will turn themselves into an impressive army, allowing her to retake the Iron Throne.

The Greyjoys:


More famous for their failed rebellion against Robert Baratheon than their designs on the Iron Throne, the Greyjoys nevertheless prove to be a threat to our central families. Led by bitter Lord Balon, the men of the Iron Islands separate themselves off from the rest of the Seven Kingdoms and haven't really got over being defeated.


Theon Greyjoy (Alfie Allen) is currently helping out Robb Stark, having been held as a hostage in Winterfell as Ned Stark's ward preventing his father from rebelling again. Theon's none too happy about becoming synonymous with the Starks however and is looking for an opportunity to prove he still belongs to the Iron Islands.


Everyone Else:


The second series will also see the return of some of the minor characters of the last series, not that they don't hold any major influence. Lord Petyr Baelish, known as Littlefinger (Aiden Gillen), is the best example of someone who seems to be on the outskirts looking in, but is in actual fact, controlling pretty much everyone around him. Responsible for Ned Stark's downfall, Littlefinger continues his manipulating and giving us another villain to curse and jeer at.


Elsewhere, there is Lord Varys, known as the Spider or the Eunuch (Conleth Hill), and, like Littlefinger, is adept at playing the situation to meet his own ends. Swearing that his allegiance is to the realm, no one is ever sure which person Varys is feeding information to. Just don't talk out loud anywhere, one of his little birds is sure to pick it up.


So there you go, the main players are all in place ready to move when Game of Thrones returns to our screens on Sunday (Eee!).

NEWS FEATURE: The King's Speech Play

I’ve yet to see the film of The King’s Speech, the 2010 award winner starring Colin Firth and Helena Bonham Carter. I’ve wanted to, and I’ve tried to get around to it, I really have but somehow, I just sort of... didn’t. Which I felt spectacularly guilty about when it did win its many awards and I was left nodding along with people in the pub pretending to agree about how well deserved it all was.

I have, however, recently become aware of the existence of The King’s Speech the play, which, interestingly, existed long before Colin Firth ever even considered reading for his part in the film. Written by David Seidler and directed by Adrian Noble, it tells the story of Bertie, or Prince Albert, who becomes King after the abdication of his brother Edward, who chooses his somewhat risqué choice of spouse, the twice divorced Wallis Simpson over the crown. The soon to be King George VI subsequently employs the help of the unconventional Australian speech therapist Lionel Logue to help him overcome a stammer he has struggled with since childhood. The two go on to become firm friends, working together on now famous radio broadcasts as history and WWII unfolds itself around them.

All of this sounds great. And indeed it sounded great when the film came out, too. But yet I still haven’t seen it.  The thing is, now I know there’s a play, and crucially, now I know it was a play first, I can’t possibly see the film before I’ve seen the original play- it just wouldn’t be right.

It’s perhaps worthy of note that we always feel better in our cultural selves when we know we’ve seen, heard or read something in its original form first. It gives us a sense of chronology, a sense of seeing the roots of an idea before we see what others took it upon themselves to do with it. The really interesting thing with The King’s Speech, however, is that everyone has seen the film, the adaptation, first.

Surely seeing the story brought to life live on a stage in front of you, and in its original form, can only ever be a more vivid and poignant experience?

I can’t wait to find out.

And then I’ll doubtless be straight over to the nearest DVD shop to buy the film version, so I can while away far too many hours endlessly weighing up every tiny difference between the two.

The King’s Speech is now on at London’s Wyndham's theatre.

 http://www.kingsspeechtheplay.com/

www.twitter.com/kingsspeechplay


- Jen

DVD REVIEW: Paranormal Activity 3

Having spent the two days prior to watching the film re-watching Paranormal Activity 2, discussing I think every possible plot line and possiDbility for the third film and generally working ourselves into an over-enthused frenzy, I think it’s fair to say my horror nerd boyfriend and I were rather excited about Paranormal Activity 3.

I also think it’s fair to say that we were not disappointed.

 Paranormal Activity 3 takes us back to the very beginning of the story. We've seen sisters Katy and Kristy terrorised by ghostly activity in the first two films, and we're now introduced to their younger selves. Through them we meet their mother Julie, her boyfriend Dennis, who, as a budding filmmaker, decides to set up cameras after an attempted sex tape reveals a paranormal occurrence, and we also meet the family matriarch in the form of the girls’ grandmother.

We watch as  Kristy begins communication with a sinister imaginary friend named Toby, whom we suspect from the outset to be the terrifiying demonic presence of the girls’ later lives.  Knowing as we do that a devilish, distinctly Faustian pact has gone on at some point in the accursed family’s history, and having met several new characters, the film takes on the lovely new level of a whodunit, as we puzzle over who the original soul seller might have been.

Never mind all that, is it actually scary? I hear you ask. And yes, I think it is. Perhaps even more so than its predecessors. Having collaborated with the team behind the hugely successful Saw films, on the gorgeously in- your- face haunted-  house horror Insidious last year, it is no surprise that the scares of Paranormal Activity 3 are far more visual than anything we have seen from the franchise before. As well as knocking you sick and terrifying you almost out of your seat at times, this play to the visual allows for a far more sadistic, and I'd even say a self referentially comic angle to the scares. There is one moment in particular which illustrates this, and all I will say here is that it is particularly ingenius...and that it involves a sheet.

The ultimate triumph of this film, however, lies in its attention to detail. There was a very real danger that 3 was going to be a montage of clips from 1 and 2, just with a few of the gaps filled in. But this is far from the case. Directors Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman have taken great care over this 1980s prequel, introducing us to a whole new set up which is as well thought out as it is engaging. Dennis’ status as a semi-professional film maker not only makes the cameras make sense in the context of the home, but, appropriately enough, gives a welcome lens of normalcy through which to view the rest of the film. Between Dennis and his fantastically gawky assistant, Randy, played to hilarious and oddly comforting effect by Dustin Ingram, we get a real sense of outsiders looking in on the action. This works brilliantly as this voyeuristic awareness is exactly the feeling we get as an audience when the unattended cameras are rolling.

This being a DVD review, the technicalities of the home cinema experience also deserve a mention here, and an honourable one at that, for this too has been intricately designed. At first, it seems as though the surround sound just isn’t working, or hasn’t been properly set up, but further watching reveals that it has actually been organised so that only the biggest, noisiest scares come through the speakers behind and surrounding your head. At one point, my boyfriend and I were so convinced that a blown bulb had actually happened in the room with us that we spent several minutes looking for it. It is worth mentioning for amusement’s sake that there weren’t actually any lights on, so I haven’t a clue what we thought we were going to find.

So there we have it. The film lives up to every expectation, has been planned to a tee and is just as unavoidably terrifying as the DVD cover boasts. In fact, my one complaint about this film, aside from how frequently I had to stop myself from leaving the room to avoid a hairy moment, is that I get the distinct impression that the franchise won’t end here, and I think it should have done. The film’s jolting, tense style of terror has worked perfectly up until now, and I’m just not convinced I can see anywhere new for Paranormal Activity 4 to go. 

And with the past having been dragged up so expertly here, I think it would be a great shame for any old material to be repeated in the future.

-         -  Jen

FILM REVIEW: Safe House

What do you get if you put Denzel Washington, Ryan Reynolds, several big character actors and guns on location in South Africa? Suprisingly, a pretty good thriller.


Ryan Reynolds plays Matt Weston, a CIA safe house-keeper who is desperate for a promotion that's a little more stimulating than watching a bunch of monitors, which is all he seems to do. He has a nice French girlfriend in Cape Town and an opening credit sequence which allows for the obligatory Ryan Reynolds topless shot (pretty sure that's now written into every contract he signs). Meanwhile, Denzel Washington's Tobin Frost, rogue agent extraordinaire and downright cool customer, is engaging in some shady operations in the city. Frost, willingly captured, is brought to Weston's house, which turns out, unlike the title suggests, to not be that safe. After they come under attack by mysterious assailants, the pair are forced into a begrudging partnership. And once that happens, the film doesn't really let you stop for breath.


Directed by Daniel Espinosa (his first mainstream feature), Safe House shouldn't be good. It's got all the cliches of a bad thriller; the mismatched partners, the shady CIA operatives, car chases and a plot twist that any remotely active viewer will see coming a mile off. But somehow, amidst all the genre checklist, Espinosa creates a film that is tense, edge-of-your-seat stuff that lets you forget that you're watching what could have been something awful.


This is largely down to the performances of the two leads with Reynolds and Washington. Although both roles are the kind that the two actors could do in their sleep, they nevertheless give Weston and Frost more than just the stereotypical hero/anti-hero stuff. As a result, when the inevitable denouement occurs, the chemistry between the pair ensures that you actually care where it's all going to end up. This is also a key factor in the fight scenes; instead of cutting to wide shots of a couple of figures tussling, Espinosa brings you right into the action, holding the shot whilst the punches fly in to the point of it becoming claustrophobic. You see every fist or knee connecting, hands around throats or knives perilously close to flesh to the point of almost feeling the blows yourself. In a seriously impressive car chase scene, you, of course, get all the usual shots of cars flying down the street, people scattering and metal-crunching impacts, but you're also thrust into the car itself. 


In this respect, the South Africa location is inspired and is utilised to its full effect. A refreshing change from the usual American cityscapes, Cape Town gives the film another edge. It's grimy and sweaty, adding to the claustrophobic atmosphere that builds throughout the film. Even when the location switches to the countryside, we're forced inside and narrow corridors become the focus, rather than the wide open spaces beyond. One particularly effective action sequence takes place in a township of rickety, tightly-packed buildings. Unlike many action films who suffer from such fast cuts that you have absolutely no idea what's going on until a survivor emerges, this sequence follows three parties, on foot, across roofs and in vehicles. Such is the effectiveness of the editing that you never lose track of who is doing what to who, despite it going at the same fast pace.


By twisting all of the usual cliches ever so slightly, intense action sequences and with impressive lead performances, Safe House is a lot better than I expected. Sadly, its third act in all its predictability does let the side down slightly. However, it's well worth a night-in, if only to see a Reynolds-Washington pairing that knock three kinds of hell out of each other and everyone else.


****


- Becky

NEWS: Hustle Finale

After 8 series, 48 episodes, one BBC three spin-off series, two exits and two new characters, Kudos Productions’ Bafta nominated con-men drama for BBC One, Hustle, will end tonight. I have waxed lyrical regarding my love for this programme on the blog before but I feel that, tonight being something of a special occasion for the show, I am well within my rights to do so again.

It has long been a brilliant means of escapism for grumpy BBC viewers, and particularly Londoners, as it created an alternate version of the city where a gang of five people could do precisely what they liked to earn their money, whilst still playing fairly of course, and no one, not even the Old Bill were going to stop them. And in a world plagued by financial recession, terrorism and ancient apocalyptic predictions - it was very welcome.

Not only was it well timed and well intentioned, but well made, too. Slick camera work, post-modern audience addresses and plot twists worthy of Arthur Conan Doyle, it has been thoroughly entertaining from start to finish.

There are rumours afoot of the return of a familiar character tonight (well, they’re more the rumours, we’ve seen the photos) – Jaime Murray’s Stacey Monroe. Her interaction with characters both old and new is set to make fascinating viewing for long time fans of the show. It’s also clear, from the tiny snippets of information we were fed from both the teaser trailer at the beginning of the year as well as the preview at the end of last week’s episode, that this will be the gang’s biggest con yet, and that the episode will feature an alarming looking rooftop scene, gangsters and guns.

Other than that, we don’t really know anything. Will they all die horribly in a clash with Russian mobsters? Will only some of them die? Will they all walk away at the end just like always? I really don’t know. What I do know, is that Hustle will be sorely missed.

The finale of Hustle airs tonight, on BBC 1 at 9pm.

- Jen

FEATURE: Valentine's Day Special

As the majority of you have probably noticed due to the sudden influx of flowers, chocolates and general heart-shaped paraphernalia, it's Valentine's Day. Instead of providing you with the usual list of ideal Valentine's Day films, we're going to put in a little twist this year; Jen will provide you with three films for all you loved-up couples while Becky suggests another three for those people who lack a date this time around. So, if you're preparing to cuddle up to your Valentine tomorrow or nursing a certain amount of hatred towards the most couple-y day of the year, we've got a list of ideal films to choose from.

For the Singleton:

I've noticed a certain trend amongst single people coming up to Valentine's Day and it conveniently splits into three specific groups. First of all, you've got your angry/hate-the-world types who don't really want to ignore Valentine's Day, they want to grab it by the throat and punch it in the face. Secondly, you've got your solidarity bunch, a group of people who band together to ignore the fact that none of them have a date. And finally, you've got your hopeless romantics, convinced that this time next year, they'll be dining on an M&S Meal for Two and gazing adoringly into the eyes of their other half. With that in mind, I've got a film for each category, matching up the emotional state with a silver-screen counterpart.

1). Reservoir Dogs

Quentin Tarentino's debut feature is one long round of swearing and violence from start to finish. A heist movie that doesn't feature an actual heist, it has entered the popular culture consciousness for the iconic walking (spoofed brilliantly in Coupling) and characters like Mr Blue, Mr White and Mr Pink. Thanks in large part to Michael Madsen's Mr Blonde, the film can be quite gruesome, particularly the infamous ear scene, and the fact that Tim Roth's Mr Orange is slowly bleeding to death in the background for the entire film. Also it does not feature a romantic sub-plot in any way and allows the viewer to work out their aggression through all the shooting, hitting and ear-hacking that goes on. This makes it the perfect film for those angry types who wish to revile Valentine's Day and ignore their own lack of romantic sub-plot.

2). The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

This is a case of pick one or watch them all if you really want to miss the entire day. For all you out there craving solidarity in your singledom, this is an entire film of people of all kinds coming together to defeat an unstoppable evil. So you could see this an allegory of your attempts to combine your forces to collectively ignore one of the commercial events of the year. Well... if you really wanted to. Either way, the undeniable quality of the trilogy will mean you get lost in the realm of Middle Earth, caught up in Frodo and Sam's struggle to Mordor or the thrill of the Battle of Helm's Deep. Whilst there is the odd adoring gaze, the film is pretty light on romance but with arrows swooshing through the air and oliphaunts stomping the Pelennor Fields, you won't have time to think about it.

3. When Harry Met Sally

You may think it unusual for me to put this on the Singleton section but there is method in my madness I assure you. For all the hopeless romantics out there, this film represents the light at the end of the tunnel. Harry and Sally meet several times over the course of a few years, starting off hating each other, becoming friends and then falling in love. There's many false starts, an unforgettable scene in a diner, some dodgy karaoke and one of the best 'I'm in love with you' speeches that cinema has to offer. So for those lamenting their lack-of-relationship and wanting to live vicariously in the romantic moment, this film will offer that little ray of hope. One day, you too might meet your Harry or your Sally, depending on preference, and you'll share a lovely coconut wedding cake with chocolate sauce on the side. And if that doesn't sound like your cup of tea, see Choice 1.

For the Coupled Up:

For me, as a loved- up lady of the long term relationship, romantic films should be about re-affirming who you already are as a couple. Film nights for couples, romantic or otherwise, are about tucking in to the popcorn, pick and mix, and cheap pop, and enjoying your relationship for what it is, not necessarily some Hollywood image of what it could be.

So, after much pondering and a fairly hefty amount of pop psychology, I have come to the conclusion that, with this in mind, the sort of film you choose to watch with your better half when, say, in a more romantic frame of mind, probably has a lot to say about your relationship. Ergo, I have aimed my choice of three towards different types of couple, in an attempt to help relationship-ers everywhere choose the perfect film for that cosy night in tomorrow night.

That said, my boyfriend and I always watch horrors, so lord alone knows what that says about us.


1). The Notebook. For the Together Forever Types.


As with all the choices on my list, the message of The Notebook is that true love conquers all. Be it mental illness, long distances, and even other, lesser loves- your love for ‘the one’ will somehow find a way. The reason, then, that this film works for the cuddly, ‘I’ll love you always’ types, is that its whole ethos is not that of a simple ‘boy meets girl’ story. Our girl, Ally (Rachel McAdams) and boy, Noah (Ryan Gosling) do at some point meet, obviously, and it’s very sweet and cutesy and lovely and small town America. But then there are arguments. Huge, ferocious arguments. Girl then moves away, and meets someone else, believing that boy has rejected her. But after all of this, and despite being engaged to a trendy city type, Ally still chooses to go back out to the countryside to live with Noah. Her one true love. And that’s just one narrative arc. The other sees the older Noah and Ally, still together, with love this time overcoming both her mental illness and their ailing health. The message of this film, then, is that if your love is real, and true, that is all that matter. This film is perfect, then, for the ‘everything is rosy as long as we have each other, and no matter what happens we’ll be together forever’ types, as it will only serve to re-affirm how they already feel every time they look at each other.

2). Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, for the Arty We Love Each Other, But We’re Just Too Damn Cool For Romance type

Eternal Sunshine… in my opinion, is one of the brightest, and sharpest love stories ever made. Again, the main idea is that love overcomes all obstacles, memory in this case. However this is a far better choice, and in fact a far better film full stop, than say the similar themed 50 First Dates. This is simply because it drags itself, and its viewer, kicking and screaming out of the traditional love story mode and into something entirely new, quirky and clever. Joel (Jim Carrey) and Clementine (Kate Winslet) do fall in love, true, as couples have in every other romantic film since rose petals were first sprinkled across a duvet. But this is such a disjointed, well woven and frankly odd story that this film can be appreciated in its own right, completely aside from the romance. You can ignore the mantra of enduring love central idea and enjoy it simply as a clever indie flick with a few stars thrown in. (Whilst still subtly and secretly rooting for the central couple, of course- you’re not totally heartless.) Watch it with your other half if you would like to bring just a smattering of romance, to this international day of love, but are about as likely to buy an ‘I love you’ soft toy as you are to head off into the garden and start eating worms.

3). Moulin Rouge. For the Epic, Look How Much We/They Are In Love But Everything Just Conspires Against Us/Them type.

Now don’t get me wrong, Moulin Rouge is a fantastically versatile film, and one which can be enjoyed on many levels- the gorgeous scenery, the dancers, the music, the great performances- the list really is endless. But when it comes to couple types, this one goes straight to the top of the list for the type in need of a bit of drama. The type which feels most in love when crying over their other half- be it with tears of sadness or happiness. Again, it’s safe to say that love overcomes all, in this plot. In fact, it’s hard to ignore. We are straight away hit with the powerful image of the words ‘The greatest thing you’ll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return’ appearing on a typewriter, as the heartbroken Christian (Ewan McGregor), still desperately in love with and grieving for the love of his life, Satine, (Nicole Kidman), begins to write their story. Thus adding enough drama and tragedy to suit any couple in need of a bit of a cuddle and a weep. And at the end of it, unlike the ill-starred lovers of Baz Luhrmann’s world, you’ll still have each other. Granted, the tears may not be ideal for Valentine’s Day, but the sentiment sure as hell is.


So there you have it- different films for different couples. Which, if I had my way, is exactly what Valentine’s Day itself would be like.

- Jen and Becky

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FILM REVIEW: The Woman In Black

I walked in to the cinema to watch The Woman in Black, after an unexpected and rather embarrassing detour into the screening of Young Adult, with some unhelpful baggage. And I don’t mean the three jackets and bucket load of popcorn I’d had to awkwardly smuggle into the correct screen with me.

The baggage in question was the knowledge that this film version of The Woman in Black, written by Jane Goldman and directed by James Watkins, is the story’s third outing. Its third adaptation after appearing first as a book, written by Susan Hill in 1983, and secondly as a long-running play, currently on at Covent Garden’s Fortune Theatre. I walked in to the cinema knowing all of this. I can’t say I knew a great deal about either of the other two adaptations, but I knew they existed.

The funny thing is, even without this, if I’d gone in to the film completely cold, having never heard of The Woman in Black the play, having never heard of the book, I still think I would have walked out at the end with at least a fairly strong inkling that this story wasn’t always supposed to be a film.

It’s not the script that’s the problem. Goldman’s screenwriting is, in itself, as strong as ever. It isn’t the direction of individual scenes- each and every one is well put together, and when Watkins gets it right, he gets it very right. It isn’t the cinematography, the locations or the camera work- all are well thought out and this comes across. It’s not even the performances. Another piece of baggage I walked in with was the belief that I was likely to find Daniel Radcliffe far too young for the role of Arthur, a widower with a four year old son, but even that didn’t bother me after the first few scenes.

Because the one, real problem I had with this film was the pacing. It may seem like a small issue, but it means that the film never quite settles. It never quite relaxes into itself- and as a result it never quite immerses you fully- and this is crucial for any film. It takes far too long to build up the suspense needed for a really successful horror, and when it does, it is thrown away far too hurriedly. Things finally get exciting when Radcliffe’s character spends the night alone at the haunted house on the marshes, but this is all too quickly over, as is the second night spent there with Sam Daily (Ciaran Hinds).

This problematic pacing gives the viewer an unsettling experience, but for all the wrong reasons. True, some scenes are genuinely terrifying, and the building up of atmosphere and intrigue can be excellent, particularly in the hands of Janet McTeer’s Mrs Daily. But this is a film, not a play, and it needs more. It needs more than a shadowy figure periodically appearing. It needs more than a few doors opening by themselves, and a chair rocking of its own accord. There isn’t enough terror for it work as a horror, and there isn’t enough plot for it to work as a thriller. The truth is, it never quite has the confidence to stand up for itself as a story in its own right, and suffers for it.

Perhaps if you go in to the cinema with no prior expectations, no awareness of the previous adaptations, and having somehow un-read this review, you will be able to appreciate this film for what it is, and enjoy it. I am, admittedly, a huge horror fan, so perhaps this too held me back as I was expecting more thrills than I was ever going to get. So by all means go forth and see it for yourselves. You may appreciate it far more than I did.

 But I can’t promise anything.

**

 One for the dog, whose tail wagged throughout his performance, even in the scariest scenes, and another for the times I genuinely jumped out of my skin.  

http://thewomaninblack-movie.co.uk/

- Jen