TV REVIEW: Atlantis

I have a confession to make. I didn't choose to stop reviewing Atlantis (if any of you had noticed that I had). I simply forgot it was on. Completely. It didn't even enter my head that I'd missed any episodes until this weekend. So I've just marathoned the three episodes I missed; The Song of the Sirens, Rules of Engagement and The Furies.

This was a bad plan.

Watching it week by week was enough to expose the faults inherent in this series; the uninspired plotlines, the weak characterisation, the frankly odd combination of archaic turns of phrase with regular 2013 speak. Most of all, it's just dull. Watching it in one go just meant these faults screamed themselves at me over the course of over two hours.  And yet I kept watching because the world they've created has such potential (until it left my memory of course). Atlantis could be a huge playing field for all sorts of Greek mythological beings to come into contact with our characters. Some have already, but they've done little with them. Even Circe, one of the most powerful and vindictive witches in all legend, is reduced to a quick episode appearance in a mysterious cloak. 

Atlantis would do well to look to the American television series Once Upon A Time for advice on how to weave these characters together into a cohesive, believable whole. The fairytale series has taken the original stories as their base and gone in a wide variety of directions with it, changing characters' pasts and futures to suit their needs. Importantly though, it creates characters with depth, emotional ties and fascinating conflicts. Atlantis attempts to, but beyond Hercules (and I suspect this is more to do with Mark Addy than the writers), characters have had little to do but function as plot devices.

Nowhere is this more apparent than in the female characters, of which we have four main figures who interact with the main male trio. Even with such figures as Pasiphae, Ariadne, Medusa and The Oracle, the female characters are woefully underwritten, serving as little more than plot propellers even in episodes supposed to be around them. Ariadne seems to be there to look pretty, Medusa's doom-laden, The Oracle dispenses narrative and Pasiphae's evil. That's pretty much all there is to them. The male characters don't fare much better, but at least there are attempts to give them depth. The female characters are little more than bejewelled cardboard cutouts.

And now I follow with a short review of each of the episodes. May contain ranting.

The Song of the Sirens: Weaving in various elements of The Odyssey, the episode follows Hercules' attempts to win the heart of Medusa by resorting to magic. Needless to say, it goes awry. You know what the major problem with this episode is? I mean, aside from the terrible humour (again with the farting...). Hercules DRUGS Medusa into loving him. She then follows him around before succumbing to a disease which nearly kills her AND THEN DOESN'T GET TO CONFRONT HERCULES ABOUT IT. Way to go writers. That's exactly the kind of message we want to see on TV: You can't get a girl lads? Don't worry, just drug the one you want and it'll all be fine! I mean really BBC. Let's not have a plotline about roofying someone and not deal with the consequences.

Then there is The Rules of Engagement is, quite frankly, ridiculous. After spending all of about half an hour in each other's company, Jason and Ariadne get to suffer the starcrossed lovers riff as she becomes engaged to Heptarian. She weeps a lot and doesn't do much else. Jason mopes about a bit, gets his shirt off and decides to fight in the Pankration (which I'm well aware was an actual thing, but it sounds like a disease). There's lots of sweaty fighting and plotting in corners, but Ariadne has had about as much character development as the table Jason lies on when he's injured. The whole injured but continuing to fight for love thing is also a bit stolen from A Knight's Tale which has done nothing to endear me to Atlantis' attempts at originality. But, you know, the fight sequences were quite impressive.

And finally we get to The Furies in which Hercules, Pythagorus and Jason take the dullest road trip ever. It starts well, giving Pythagorus some much needed screentime that wasn't based on humiliating Hercules or healing Jason, but it centres on a brother he never met and features the darkest plotline yet to hit Atlantis in his abuse as a child. It could have been an interesting examination of family dynamics, of how the sins of the parents are visited on the child. Pythagorus is revealed as a murderer and... well it just seemed to come out of nowhere. Robert Emms does the best he can with it and gives an emotional performance but it seems completely incongruous with that which has gone before. Not to mention, the inclusion of The Furies was a wasted opportunity.

And what happened to Jason being from 2013? Seriously, where did that plotline go?

In short, I'm done with Atlantis.

- Becky

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TV REVIEW: Atlantis - Twist of Fate

This week, Atlantis turns into Three Men and a Baby, Jason grows a large moustache and impersonates Tom Selleck whilst Pythagorus does a great Steve Guttenberg impression.

Just kidding. 

Well it is a Three Men and a Baby deal as Jason, Hercules and Pythagorus discover an abandoned baby in the woods whilst on a hunting trip. Naturally, this being Ancient Greece and wonderfully heteronormative, they have no idea what to do with the baby and call on Medusa to help who, being a woman and all, knows exactly what to do with the child and sorts it all out for the helpless menfolk. D'aww. The reason for the child's abandonment also gives Jason a chance to challenge customs once again and upset the status quo. Seriously, have the guards not figured out who is causing all this mischief? Elsewhere, a visiting King Laius of Thebes and his Queen Jocasta are entertained at the palace, upsetting the apple cart a tad as Pasiphae and Ariadne clash a little bit. Donald Sumpter also appears. He's always welcome.

Marginally better than last week's bull leaping episode, Twist of Fate tones down some of the bombastic stuff in favour of some more emotional development though sadly we don't escape the terrible attempts at humour. More on that later. Mark Addy finally gets something more to do than just be a bit bombastic and his scenes in which he confesses his love for Medusa to the baby and later, when confronted with the baby's mother, are miles ahead of anything else he's done for the series. Although his desire for a relationship with Medusa carries a very loud dramatic irony klaxon, it was welcome to see Addy pushed beyond drunkenness, if only for a bit.

Elsewhere in the episode, the action sequences carry a bit more fizz than they have done in previous weeks, largely because they relied on practical men running around than terrible CGI creatures that Jason slow-motions himself over. Speaking of Slow Motion Jason, he appears once again, this time with a shirt (sorry ladies and gentlemen so inclined) and leaping across rooftops with a baby nestled into his oft-seen sculpted chest. I do feel a bit sorry for Jack Donnelly as he is once again saddled with a bland role in the proceedings, one that is only memorable for his action prowess. I'm fairly sure if he was actually given anything to work with, he could prove himself a decent leading man, but so far, Jason is about as memorable as a dishcloth.

The dialogue also continues to be vastly infuriating. Though not quite on the clunky standards of last week, there are some moments where you just want to take the writers aside and ask them what period in history they think they're writing for. After three episodes of characters making faux-grandiose statements about eyes boring through people or Jason's far-off destiny, having Pythagorus exclaiming that Hercules was punching above his weight suddenly swung it completely the other way. If the decision was taken to go for some Spartacus: Blood and Sand style historical dialogue, then fine, make it work. If you want to make it modern and all down with the kids, then again, go for it. But mixing the two is bizarre and is by far the worst aspect of the series.

And so we must turn to the humourous aspects of the series, or rather, the lack of them. The level of humour has been so low so far in the series I'm surprised it took this long for the toilet variety to get a look in. An obvious get out clause, Hercules' farting in front of the guards was almost certainly aimed at the younger generations watching the show, but it's a pity that the writers seem to only be catering for that particular demographic. Well, that is until the name of the baby was decided. Kicking myself slightly for missing it, what with the names of the King and Queen and all, but it turns out that this was the origin story for that most infamous of Greek heroes, Oedipus. Yes, that one who murdered his father, married his mother and thus kicked off one of the most famous complexes in history. That's certainly one for the adults.

Probably the best episode of the series so far, though that isn't quite the praise it sounds like, Twist of Fate finally gave us some hint of the emotional aspects that could drive the show forward. Now if only we could get a little more character development and a little less flatulence, Atlantis might be all right.

- Becky

You can read Becky's review of the previous episode here.

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TV REVIEW: Atlantis - A Boy of No Consequence

After tussling with an equally glowering and strapping young man, Jason, Pythagorus and Hercules find out they've offended Poseidon and they are left to the mercy of the bulls. Yes, the plot this week is based on leaping bulls.

Once again, Jason's time travel becomes a convenient excuse to get him into trouble as he leaps to the aid of an old man who was being smacked around by said glowering young man, Heptarian (Oliver Walker), a servant of the god Poseidon and nephew of the Queen. This series of unfortunate events leads to expositioning abound as every character has to bring both Jason and the audience up to speed with such wondrous customs as the favour of the Gods (a huge thing in Greek mythology though given little weight here) and bull leaping. Yes. Leaping bulls was actually a thing. At least we can't criticise Atlantis for not teaching us anything. Naturally, the fact that Jason et al. saved Atlantis from the minotaur is, as Hercules points out, is conveniently forgotten. 

The amount of times people say that Jason is a 'natural born bull leaper' with a straight face has to be commended, particularly Sarah Parish who is just about wonderful in anything she does, even with lines like that. She gets to do some nefarious plotting this week and is the subject of some brilliantly stilted dialogue. In fact, the dialogue this week is so laughably terrible that it actually became painful to watch. When Pythagorus isn't saying obvious things like "or maybe you thought that was the only way to get us to work as a team", Jason is saying ridiculous statements like "it's as though her eyes burn right through me". I know the writers need to convey that this is a different time period, but it's getting ever so grating listening to characters say sentences that no human being could ever say naturally.

The thing with this episode is that I spent the entire time thinking that it would be far more interesting if it was gladiatorial combat or Greek wrestling or anything remotely interesting. Obviously this is a Saturday evening show and is therefore limited on how much gore they can show, if any at all, but the inexpensive special effects and lack of peril drew any tension out of the bull-leaping scenes. The fact that they try to equate these scenes with the importance of the gladiator battles seen in the likes of Ridley Scott's film or even the ludicrous Spartacus: Blood and Sand (which takes bad dialogue to a new level, but somehow it works), just makes them seem all the more inferior. Of course, they did mean that Slow-Motion Jason could appear, sans shirt and with curly hair wafting softly in the breeze.

I'm trying desperately to find good points in this show beyond 'it looks really pretty' because the concept is interesting and the actors deserve better. However, it's just dull and borderline uncomfortable to watch. The humour falls flat, the characters rarely seem actually in danger and even Merlin and Robin Hood had more going for them at this stage in their admittedly awful first series.

For the love of the Gods Atlantis, please get better.

- Becky

You can read Becky's review of the previous episode here.

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TV REVIEW: Atlantis - A Girl By Any Other Name

This week, Jason finds himself tangling with the Maenads, followers of Dionysus, questioning his destiny, fighting in slow-motion and meeting a woman called Medusa.

For what initially appears to be a simple plotline, there's a lot going on in this episode, starting with Jason and Hercules working security for a merchant only for Hercules to get drunk on the job and allow the theft of the frankincense that he's supposed to be protecting. Then, an old man comes to seek Jason's help in finding his missing daughter, Demetria, who he wishes to see before he dies. Jason agrees to help, Hercules does to in order to escape the rich merchant and Pythagorus is mostly filler. The three get tangled up with the Maenads who follow the god Dionysus (in a rather tame version of his rites and rituals, as befitting a Saturday night audience) and incorrectly represented satyrs, where they also meet Medusa.

So yes, many many things going on in this episode and not all of them good. The balance between levity and drama across the narrative is misjudged a fair amount of the time and Hercules' bombast is going to become irritating before long. I love Mark Addy, but his performance is particularly one-note at the moment, all shouting and guffawing, which is occasionally humourous, but sticks out like a sore thumb when the tone shifts to weightier stuff. Performances elsewhere are more successful than others; it's great to see Jemima Rooper on screen again and she's the best thing in this as Medusa, currently a lot nicer than the destiny that awaits her. Jack Donnelly, on the other hand, is a charisma vacuum, saddled with some terrible, clunky lines which he can't help but deliver in a stilted fashion. If he's supposed to be from the 21st century, why is he speaking like a character from a Charlton Heston swords-and-sandals epic?

That Jason comes from the 21st century seems to be just a convenient plot device for him to be able to know who characters like Medusa are well in advance. It is serving little purpose anywhere else as he seems more than comfortable loitering about in Ancient Greece. Returning to the lines poor Donnelly has to deliver, if he's supposed to be from the 21st century, why is he speaking like a character from a Charlton Heston swords-and-sandals epic? Dialogue should involve you in this world, but in Atlantis, it just seems to be a way of providing exposition or getting to the next joke. Or reminding you about Jason's destiny, which was referred to at least five times over the course of the episode. Action Jason, or as he will now be called, Slow-Mo Jason, got a run out a couple of times in this episode, but we cannot rely on action scenes alone to carry this character.

And then there's the Greek mythology aspect itself. I'm trying not to get too caught up in the fact that this isn't an accurate representation of these legends, more a melting pot, which is largely fine. I'm interested in seeing how the Medusa thread develops because it has to be different from the original (Medusa is raped by Poseidon in Athena's temple; the goddess then transforms her as punishment. Yep, the Greeks victim-blamed a lot). However, the satyrs were just plain wrong. So wrong. Like ridiculously wrong. For example, on the right is a satyr. Half man, half goat, no monkey. I don't understand the decision to transform them into something else. Why not just invent another monster?

Atlantis may have started well, but it's going to have to pull its sandals up if it is going to keep people watching; the episode is muddled, badly written and ever-so-slightly dull. Yes, Merlin took a while to bed in properly, but it still had a spark at the heart of it that kept people interested. Rooper was a highlight but there is only so much good she can do when even Hercules can't do the heavy lifting. I'm not expecting Emmy-award winning stuff here, but a good story would be a start.

- Becky

You can read Becky's review of the first episode here.

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